Ellen G. White Writings

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Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1), Page 432

Chapter 29—(1861) Pointed Reproof and Heartfelt Confessions

It had been with some contentment and relaxation that Ellen White had looked forward to the winter of 1860 and into 1861. “I thought I understood my duty,” she wrote later.

I pressed my dear babe to my heart and rejoiced that at least for one winter I should be released from any great responsibility, for it could not be my duty to travel in winter with my infant.—Testimonies for the Church, 1:246.

But with John Herbert snatched from them the outlook seemed gloomy. This sense came not alone because of the loss of the child, but because of the condition of the church. Satan was striving to the utmost to hurt the church, and if possible, destroy it. Nor was she alone in her feelings of despair. She wrote:

About this time, my husband, as he reviewed the past, began to lose confidence in almost everyone.... One Sabbath morning, as he was going to our place of worship, such an overpowering sense of injustice came over him that he turned aside and wept aloud, while the congregation waited for him.—Ibid., 1:247.

She explained:

Our happiness ever depends upon the state of the cause of God. When His people are in a prosperous condition, we feel free; but when they are backslidden and there is discord among

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