Keck, Brother and Sister
“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California
May 1902
This letter is published in entirety in RY 115-118.
Dear brother and sister Keck,—
My mind has been burdened during the night season. I have learned that Brother Butler has thought of marrying Sister Keck’s sister. Some of the brethren, in talking with me about this matter, expressed their disapproval, saying that they thought that such a step would hurt Brother Butler’s influence, especially should he marry so soon after his wife’s death. At the time I gave the subject scarcely a thought, but in the night season I was talking with one in regard to the matter, and the subject assumed a different aspect. Then I seemed to be talking with some one else, of whom I was asking the question, “Why do you regard this attachment as so objectionable?” The answer was, “He is so much older than she is.” “But,” I said, “would it be proper or wise for him to marry a woman of his own age? What help could such a woman be to him in his ministry? At his age, Elder Butler should have the care that a wife only can give. If this young woman has a desire to give him this care, why should any one forbid her? She is, I understand, about thirty-five years old.” 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 1
Sister Haskell married Elder Haskell because she was convinced that he needed a helper in his work. The difference in their ages seemed to Elder Haskell to be a barrier against their union. He asked my opinion and advice. I said, “If her mind is drawn out in this direction, do not hesitate. You need the help of a spiritually minded, intelligent woman, who can sustain and encourage you in your work.” They were married, and the Lord has greatly blessed their union, making their lives doubly useful to His cause and work. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 2
May it not be possible that the hand of the Lord is in this attachment between Elder Butler and Sister Keck’s sister? What others may think in regard to this matter is not to find any place in our reckoning. We are to ask, “Is this union the will of the Lord?” May it not be His plan for the increase of the helpfulness and usefulness of each? 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 3
For many years, because of his invalid wife, Elder Butler has been shut away from the work, cut off from many privileges, prevented from doing the work he might have done. He has cared faithfully and tenderly for his wife, who was weak in mind and body, hampered by affliction and infirmity. When she died, he buried her in sorrow, yet not as a man who is without hope. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 4
After his wife’s death, he began to plan for his sister, who has been living with him for a few years, to visit her friends, as she had desired. But the Lord saw fit to add another sorrow to his life. Very suddenly and unexpectedly Sister Lockwood died. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 5
Elder Butler is a man who needs the softening influence of a good, high-principled woman. The companionship of such a woman would indeed be a great blessing to him. Considering his experience for the last fifteen years, is it strange that he desires a younger person than himself to love, to converse with? 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 6
You do not reason altogether correctly. Saith the Lord, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, ... For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” [Isaiah 55:8, 9.] The Lord surprises us by His manner of dealing. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 7
Elder Butler is strong in physical and spiritual health. The Lord has proved and tested and tried him, as He did Job and as He did Moses. I see in Elder Butler one who has humbled his soul before God. He has another spirit than the Elder Butler of younger years. He has been learning his lesson at the feet of Jesus. After caring so long for his suffering, afflicted wife, he has come forth from the furnace fire refined and purified. I respect and love my brother as one of God’s servants. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 8
I have no more to say, except that if your sister, being a Christian, is led and taught by God, leave her with God. Do not by human wisdom spoil the Lord’s plan and hinder His work. Elder Butler needs the help of a strong, kind, intelligent woman, who can co-operate with him in his sphere of usefulness, encouraging him and holding up his hands, aiding him to do a good and acceptable work for the Master. If your sister is that woman, she may feel honored in uniting with Elder Butler. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 9
At first I thought that such a step would hurt Brother Butler’s influence. But I have had time to consider the matter, and I now see it in another light. I came to this decision before I had the pleasure of meeting Elder Butler at the time of his visit to my home. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 10
I wish you to understand that I have not had one word of conversation with Elder Butler in regard to this matter. He has not made the slightest reference to it. 17LtMs, Lt 77, 1902, par. 11