Dangerous Familiarity Between the Sexes
NP
1907
Previously unpublished.
Every phase of this bewitching spirit of familiarity, this breaking down of the reserve and modesty that should exist between men and women, is satanic in its origin and its workings. It is Satan’s snare, his delusion. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 1
When men and women, whether young or old, are thrown into association with one another, they should avoid as they would a plague any carelessness in word or act. Those who work for God should be so pure, so refined, so elevated, that their conduct will win the commendation of all. They are to make straight paths for their feet, lest the lame be turned out of the way. The evil of familiarity should be given no place. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 2
Men and women should be circumspect in their associations with one another. A married man, while he should be kind and courteous to all, should keep his attentions for his wife and for her alone. When a married man singles out a young girl and pays her special attention, he does great harm to himself and to her and deeply wrongs his wife. If he is a professing believer in the truth, he brings dishonor upon a cause that should stand forth free from all taint of corruption. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 3
Unless great care is taken, there will be found among believers men who have no sense of the sinfulness of sin. There are those who accommodate their religion to their desires instead of bringing their desires into conformity to the Word of God. Many sadly abuse the gift of influence because they are not willing to practice self-control. He who does this is the agent of the enemy, used by him to ruin souls. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 4
Let men, whether young or middle aged, be wise unto righteousness. Let them, in their association with others, resist the enemy. In word and deed, let them strive to reach the high standard of righteousness. Let them search their hearts as with a lighted candle, lest there be found in them one sin unrepented of and unconfessed. Let them rise above the flesh and blood, which cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 5
Women should cultivate modesty of deportment and becoming reserve, “with shamefacedness and sobriety.” [1 Timothy 2:9.] The familiarities so generally tolerated should find no place in the lives of those who are fitting for immortality. Women should be circumspect, modest, and slow to speak. In this age they will not be safe unless they stand constantly on guard. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 6
The slightest insinuation of evil, the least approach to unwarrantable familiarity, from whatever source it may come, should be resented. If it comes from one who is ministering to the flock of God, the sin is of the greater magnitude and should lead a God-fearing woman to recoil with horror. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 7
The woman who is reserved, and yet kind and courteous, will be surrounded by an atmosphere of purity that will shield her from familiarity. If her mind dwells on themes that strengthen purity of heart, she will be fortified against the sophistry of Satan. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 8
“See that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.” [Ephesians 5:15.] We are warned in the Scriptures to avoid the very appearance of evil. Workers for God are never to do anything that would bring the slightest reproach upon the cause they represent. Their behavior should give no occasion for any to speak evil of them. They should beware of anything that would lower their ideas as to what constitutes correct deportment, anything that would lead them to regard a departure from purity as of no special consequence. Propriety of deportment, honest industry, and deep piety are to be revealed in their lives. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 9
How important it is that those who are working for God should be controlled by right principles. If a worker is sanctified by the truth, if his deportment is closely guarded from all looseness, he is the Lord’s helping hand. But if he follows the corrupting practices of the world, he is a reproach to the cause of Christ. One act of misdoing will hinder for years the accomplishment of the good that might have been done had the high standard of Christianity been maintained. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 10
God’s law has been placed around human beings as a bulwark to protect them, body, soul, and spirit, from defilement. The kingly power of sanctified reason, controlled by the grace of Christ, is to bear sway in the hearts of the Lord’s workers. They should spend much time in secret prayer, in close communion with God. Thus only can they gain the victory. 22LtMs, Ms 174, 1907, par. 11