Diary Fragments, January to March, 1907
NP
January 1 - March 30, 1907
Portions of this manuscript are published in 6Bio 122-123.
January 1, 1907
“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California
The past night has been a night of considerable anxiety concerning the San Diego Paradise Valley Sanitarium. There is needed in this sanitarium those who are excellent to devise to keep the table well supplied with appetizing food. My prayers have been ascending to One who as all power to make that sanitarium in every respect to represent the perfection of wisdom. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 1
January 12, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I could not sleep after three o’clock. I felt greatly burdened. I needed counsel of God, and I believe His promise in James, chapter 1:1-7. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 2
January 17, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium
We see so much that needs to be done. We are sorry in heart when we see how very little burden is borne by some church members. We see that there is a need now in this our period of the world’s history to watch unto prayer. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 3
January 19, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
This morning I was awake at three o’clock and my heart is deeply stirred. I see a great work to be done, and we are living in the last days of this earth’s history. The world now have plainly revealed before them, in the almost total destruction of San Francisco and its after developments, the work of unfaithful officials. The vail that has concealed the great dishonesty practiced by men in official positions has been removed. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 4
January 26, 1907
I cannot find my diary that I should write in, so I write in this. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 5
This morning, January 26, 1907, I am thankful I have been able to sleep until half-past three o’clock. I open the Word to read a chapter, and it is John 7. [Much of the chapter quoted, with some comments.] 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 6
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I have written this day 26 pages to be sent to the meeting in session in San Jose, to be followed by meetings at Mountain View on Sabbath and continuing through the week. My prayer is that the special blessing of the Lord may be realized. We need in every church to sense the fact that Christ is not lying in the sepulcher. We have a risen Saviour. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 7
January 28, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I thank the Lord this morning for His blessing. I have been able to sleep until nearly four o’clock. Yesterday my soul was burdened all day. I could not sleep the previous night after two o’clock. I lifted my soul in prayer to God that He would work for those men in council at San Jose. We cannot depend on their human judgment now. We must have the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and it is for us. There is a heaven full of God and Christ and holy angels to come to our assistance in time of need. We have need of that light now, just now, which will be given us if we ask for it in that meekness all should have, and dependence not on human devising but upon the divine. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 8
February 15, 1907
St. Helena
We leave today for Oakland to spend Sabbath and Sunday, uniting with Elder Haskell and Sister Haskell in this time of change. The large tent has been taken down and all the ground cleared. A circus party has come to hire the ground for their performance. We Seventh-day Adventists must now find other grounds on which to locate the large tent for continuation of our meetings. May the Lord direct us is my prayer. We are to leave this Friday morning for Oakland. I could not sleep after one o’clock. I had necessary writing to do, and we are to be off on this early train. We thank the Lord for health and strength and peace of mind this morning. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 9
[Monday, February 18, 1907 (?)]
Friday noon we left St. Helena for Oakland. Elder Rice met us at the station and took our luggage in his carriage several miles to Berkeley. This he has done many times, and it is much more pleasant for me. Those who accompanied me—W. C. White, Dores Robinson to report the discourses, and Sara McEnterfer—rode in the cars. I found a good seat, with the baggage packed as close as possible around me. This favor has been granted me by Elder Rice, favoring me with transporting me from the cars and returning us to the cars to convey us to our home. We were accommodated with good rooms among those not of our faith. Elder Haskell and wife gave up their room to me and engaged one below on first floor, because I always choose the upper room. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 10
Sabbath I spoke in the Congregational house of worship, which is very convenient for a large assembly. I had some very plain testimonies to bear, and quite a number spoke to the point. I have had the privilege, as the Lord’s messenger, of speaking several times in this commodious building to our people that would assemble from San Francisco and Oakland church congregations and all scattered ones who could get together. Sunday, the people occupied this church, so we had to assemble elsewhere in a private house, crowded in two and three rooms. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 11
We had much to do to settle difficulties. I was on one occasion in the meeting from two o’clock until seven in the evening, and plain testimonies were borne and confessions were made. We had two seasons of prayer. There were matters to be settled, for things had been coming to pass until there must be a work done. Some progress was made, and we thank the Lord that there is a better state of things. We left Monday morning for our home, glad, so glad, to see matters settled as they ought to be. The evil talking and surmisings against Elder Rice and wife were seen by many in altogether a different light than had been represented. Confessions were made by some, and we hope that the Lord will manifest His great grace in behalf of His people. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 12
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Monday, February 18, 1907
St. Helena
I am so glad to be at home again. Elder Rice as usual transported me and our baggage to the 16th Street depot, and we arrived at home in good season for dinner. But I felt weary and yet glad to be at home. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 13
We have obtained a victory, but it is not complete. The false statements that have come from human lips of some of those who meet for worship in the Berkeley church have brought about a very hard state. Things which have been standing for two years some now begin to see in the more correct light, and some hold just where they did. We need most thorough conversions. All who would grow in holiness will long after a genuine religious experience. They will encourage a spirit of self-examination. They will pray and strive daily for deeper insight concerning themselves, that they may understand their own faults and confess not their neighbors’s sins, but their own individual mistakes and errors. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 14
Some who profess much have spoken falsehoods and made much out of very little. Their mischievous tongues have magnified things and left on many minds a false idea of the true state of things. In Oakland, especially, there has been a wrong understanding which needs to be corrected. But we are glad that the meetings held, placing things on the right platform, have redeemed some souls who have recently embraced the truth, but through these mischievous tongues had become disappointed and had given up the Sabbath. They have come back, and their wives have been so thankful that they could be redeemed. The very expression of their countenances has changed. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 15
The mystery of the great love of God for fallen man is expressed through the giving of His Son. Christ’s giving Himself to an ignominious, shameful death is an expression of that mystery. Oh, that all would see and understand and live in the healing beams of Christ’s righteousness. Nothing but this will thaw the frozen heart. It is the joy of the Lord that creates union, and not dissension. When will the people learn wisdom? When they pray more and talk less. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 16
[Sunday], February 24, 1907
St. Helena, Napa Valley, California
I awoke at half-past two o’clock. My heart was drawn out in thanksgiving to God and to our Lord Jesus Christ. I lay in bed until three o’clock, and my heart was full of praise and thanksgiving to God for yesterday’s experience. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 17
Three times I had said I would speak at the sanitarium. Our people said, “You have not strength.” But I should have gone forward in the name of the Lord. However, word came that some other one was expecting to speak, so I did not urge the matter. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 18
Sabbath morning I said to our people in my house, Although I do not feel as strong as I desire to bear my message, I am the Lord’s messenger, and I shall bear my message today. Trusting in the Lord, I went forward. The chapel was full, and the sick were in their invalid chairs, wheeled into the aisle. As soon as I commenced speaking, I felt strengthened. I had mistrusted my voice, but I had not the least difficulty. I spoke one hour, and I felt the grace of God upon me. The first chapter of Second Peter was forcibly presented to the full house. I knew that the Spirit of the Lord was resting upon me, and I had no loss of words or voice. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 19
Before the closing hymn I felt that I must ask the congregation if they would make most earnest efforts to heed the instruction in the first chapter of Second Peter. The doing of the work set forth in that chapter would give them the grace of Christ to work out the sum of addition presented. If they would work out the sum in that chapter on the plan there definitely presented, Christ would work for them on the plan of multiplication of grace in fulfilling the requirements there set forth. Who will work out God’s prescribed plan? Would they pledge themselves to read and practice that chapter, which plainly set before them practical godliness, which if they carried out from day to day in practice, adding grace to grace, would make them victors at last? Would those present pledge themselves to seek day by day to secure the eternal life insurance policy which Christ gave His life that every soul present could secure through His grace which He urged them to receive? I asked all who would do this to rise upon their feet, and the whole congregation seemed to respond and stood upon their feet. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 20
I then knelt and offered us all to God to do that very work—to work on the plan of addition, adding grace to grace, that through the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord would grant them their everlasting life insurance policy. I was much blessed and strengthened during the exercises of this meeting, and my heart was warm with love for souls, and because the manifest presence of God was in our meeting. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 21
This morning I am writing in my diary. My heart is warm with the love of Jesus, and I praise His holy name that He did manifest Himself to His people. I sincerely desire that the Lord will be glorified by the pledge that has been made. Oh, that each one in that meeting may secure the everlasting life insurance policy through obedience to the law of God, and may he seek to help others to the safe platform of Bible truth. Christ gave His life to make it possible for every soul to give his entire self to Christ to be His soldier of the cross of Christ. He is the Captain of our salvation. We are to war the grand warfare until the victory is gained. The truth that Christ is the Messiah will prove itself in our personal religious experience which bears the testimony that Christ has not died for us in vain. Praise the Lord! 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 22
February 25, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I am awake this morning at half-past three o’clock. I take my cold water bath and then lie down, covered with bed flannels, until I am sufficiently warm and reaction has taken place. I kindle my fire and clothe myself properly, committing myself to the watchcare of my heavenly Father, and I feel His comforting peace in my heart. All are asleep but myself alone, and I thank the Lord for His care and keeping power at my age. I entered my eightieth year last November 26. The Lord is good, and my physical health and strength are wonderfully preserved. I have every reason to be grateful to my Lord and my God for my strength, and for His rich grace given me. His praise is upon my lips, and with my voice I thank the Lord God. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 23
They call for me in different places. I go when I can go, but there is a work to be done at home that is not transitory. My writing is much and important, and I must not neglect it. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 24
March 1, 1907
“Elmshaven,” St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I am carrying a weight of great responsibility, and I scarcely venture to speak of the weight that oppresses my soul; for there is not one of those connected with me that can possibly understand the anguish of my heart. I feel that I am alone, alone as far as any soul’s being able to understand is concerned. But why do I wish that they could? I have my Friend in Jesus, and He can help me, and He alone. He has been to me a very present help in times of greatest necessity, and now I can only trust and hang my helpless soul on Jesus Christ. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 25
I am instructed that the less I have to draw upon human helpers engaged in the work in helping me, even in my own house, the better. It is wise not to trust in any mortal. I must move forward, not expecting they will understand. I must work alone, alone. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 26
“Who can stand by you in the hour of fierce conflict, when in combat with the powers of darkness, with Satan and his host of invisible allies? You will, as far as human help is concerned, remain alone. The Lord alone understands. In Him you may trust. Commit the keeping of your soul to Him who has given your special work to you. Your Mediator, your Comforter will not leave you, although Satan will interpose his presence, his companionship. Be not afraid. I am your Redeemer who was tempted in all points like as you are tempted. I will impress your mind, and ever know I will not leave you nor forsake you.” 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 27
I have been nearly overcome with perplexities. I will trust in God. All the reason I desire to live is to bear my part in the work as the Lord’s messenger, faithfully discerning the evil because of the light given me, and also discerning the right. I have had very clear instruction, from which I am not to deviate one particle under any representation to, under any statement of, any human being—minister or physician. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 28
Did not Christ grow weary with constant unbelief in His mission and in His work? Often He prayed all night for His human powers to be invigorated to bear the insult, the mockery, the charge, “he hath a devil.” [John 10:20.] Did not Jesus suffer with weariness, standing on His feet and healing the sick? When He sat upon a stone to speak His message, closely surrounded with His disciples, He felt Himself favored. Has He not been often beset by the wily foe disguised as an angel of light? He knows my every weakness. He is able to sympathize with me and will be to me a present help in every time of need. Although He, my Saviour, is glorified in the heavenly courts at the right hand of God His Father, He has not forgotten the history of His human life among the highways and the byways. All the reproach, all the falsifying by men in responsible positions He had to bear. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 29
“In every spiritual conflict you are not alone. By the eye of faith you are to see your Redeemer as your present help in every time of need. In your experience of the message given you to bear, the truth is written just as it is in the books of heaven. All false statements made will appear just as they are, for it is against Christ that they do this evil, working on the enemy’s side. They are poor, deceived souls, but they choose the darkness when they might have the light. They are those who are learning their lessons from the fallen apostate and they have eyes, but they will not acknowledge the evidence. They have ears to hear, but will report the very opposite of the truth which they hear, turning it to falsehood. There is not any dependence to be placed in the words they speak. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 30
“But do not forget the incarnation of Christ and suppose He cannot feel the pangs of the willing misunderstanding of words spoken. There is Jesus who understands. Go and bear your testimony, teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you, and, ‘lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.’ [Matthew 28:20.] Would you not then have the best of companionship? All who shall misinterpret My character and My mission and My work will misinterpret your character, your mission, and your work.” 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 31
March 27, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium Post Office, California
Last evening I was very much pleased to meet my son James Edson White. His wife was not able to undertake the long journey from Nashville, Tenn. I thank the Lord that I am still in a comfortable state of health and can do a large amount of writing. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 32
March 30, 1907
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
This is the Sabbath day. This morning I rose at half-past four o’clock. I awoke at four, and my heart is drawn out after that strength, that grace which cometh to all who ask. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 33
I have the Word of the Lord, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” [Matthew 7:7, 8.] I believe the Word. I have sought the Lord in prayer, and I believe the Word. I rest upon the promise. I have the assurance of One who will never fail us. I am comforted; I am strengthened spiritually, and my physical strength is renewed because I have faith in God. 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 34
I will praise Thee, O Lord, I will magnify Thy name. I praise the Lord with heart and soul and voice, that I may take the Word of the Lord and rest my whole soul and mind, that He will keep me and all who will come to Him with an humble and contrite heart; for He has a love for all who will be obedient and serve Him with their undivided affections. God is the Lord, and greatly to be praised. I see so much to be thankful for that I can never cease to be thankful. And the Lord saith, “Whoso offereth praise glorifieth God.” [See Psalm 50:23.] 22LtMs, Ms 154, 1907, par. 35