Picture: Counsel #20 — Criticism CR 196.1
You’re sitting at the dinner table waiting for your spouse to mention the $500 charge they put on your credit card. You’ve spoken to them time and time again about senseless spending; yet, they continue to splurge carelessly. They take a seat, you sigh, roll your eyes, and say: “Our 4-year-old knows how to follow directions better than you.” After this comment, your spouse looks down with tears in their eyes, not because they’re “too sensitive,” but because your words stung.[203] https://drjessicahiggins.com/how-to-know-if-you-are-too-critical-in-relationship-why/ CR 196.2
During His earthly ministry, Jesus never shamed people into change. When He corrected, it was honest yet compassionate. Think of the woman at the well. He brought up her past with men not to humiliate her, but to offer her living water, restoration, and a chance at a life filled with dignity. In marriage, blatant criticism will always lead to broken hearts and contempt. In contrast, life-giving communication considers: Is this the best time to say this? Is it loving? Will it build trust or weaken it? This doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations, but it does mean that every word has the potential to nourish or destroy. So, choose wisely, and always speak like Jesus! CR 196.3
“Let your conversation be always full of grace…” Colossians 4:6 NIV CR 196.4
“The one who criticizes another gives evidence that he is the very one who needs to criticize himself.” Ellen White in Our High Calling, p. 233 CR 196.5
Reflect: Do your words reflect the heart of Jesus? CR 196.6
