Picture: Counsel #23 — Affirmed CR 199.1
No matter how secure someone seems, every person longs to hear, “You matter. I see you. I appreciate you.” In marriage, that voice of affirmation matters the most. When encouragement is withheld, partners can begin to feel invisible, even when they’re doing the right things. CR 199.2
Small affirmations like “Thank you for handling that,” “You look great today,” or “I love the way you think” can revive connection and rebuild broken intimacy. In Jesus’ ministry, He often paused to affirm people whom others overlooked. He praised the faith of a Roman centurion, defended Mary Magdalene who poured oil on His feet, and honored the Syrophoenician woman’s great faith by healing her daughter. In a marriage covenant, we should reflect Christ when we call out what is good, beautiful, and true in our spouse, especially in seasons of struggle. In addition, gratitude should never be assumed. If you struggle to affirm your spouse, start with one sentence a day. Maybe you can compliment how well they cooked dinner or thank them for taking the trash out in the rain. Encouragement will always lead to emotional safety, and emotional safety cultivates long-term joy.[207] https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/power-of-affirmations/ CR 199.3
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV CR 199.4
“Kind, cheerful, encouraging words will prove more effective than the most healing medicines.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 217 CR 199.5
Reflect: Have you made a habit of affirming your spouse out loud? CR 199.6
