But there were no “unmistakable providences” to point the way to the Old World; at least, there was no instruction by vision from the Lord. Mrs. White was left by a mysterious providence to find in her own soul the answer to the call. In her notes of travel that appeared in the Review, she said: EGWE 24.3
“Although I had prayed for months that the Lord would make my path so plain that I would know that I was making no mistake, still I was obliged to say that God hangs a mist before my eyes.”—Ibid., September 15, 1885. EGWE 24.4
At the time the call came, she was 57 years of age, and a widow for three years, much worn from her labors in writing The Great Controversy, volume 4, just published, and exceedingly weary from a heavy schedule of camp-meeting appointments during the summer of 1884. In this fatigued state of mind she had not been able to write much for months. Would it be presumptuous for her to attempt the journey across the American plains and on to Europe? She wondered about her duty. Was it God's will for her to go? EGWE 24.5
Her “faith was severely tested.” She longed for human comfort and guidance, and she said: EGWE 24.6
“My courage was gone, and I longed for human help, one who had a firm hold from above, and whose faith would stimulate mine. By day and by night my prayers ascended to heaven that I might know the will of God, and have perfect submission to it. Still my way was not made clear; I had no special evidence that I was in the path of duty, or that my prayers had been heard.”—Ibid. EGWE 25.1
Until the time of his untimely death in 1881, Mrs. White's husband, James, had been available to encourage and counsel her when faced with big decisions, but now he was gone and she was alone save for her two sons, particularly Willie, whose wise and understanding counsels braced her for the work ahead. About this time he visited her at her home in Healdsburg and spoke words of courage and faith. EGWE 25.2