During those eleven months of suffering I continued my work of writing. My right arm from the elbow down was whole, so that I could use my pen, and I wrote twenty-five hundred pages of letter paper for publication during this period. 4BIO 32.3
When I was first convinced that I must give up my cherished plan to visit the churches in Australia and New Zealand, I questioned seriously whether it was ever my duty to leave America, and come to this far-off country. Many sleepless hours of the night I spent in going over our experience since we left America for Australia. It was a time of continual anxiety, suffering, and burden bearing. 4BIO 32.4
I felt at first that I could not bear this inactivity. I think I fretted in spirit over it, and at times darkness gathered about me. This unreconciliation was at the beginning of my suffering and helplessness, but it was not long before I saw that the affliction was a part of God's plan. I carefully reviewed the history of the past few years, and the work the Lord had given me to do. Not once had He failed me. Often He had manifested Himself in a marked manner, and I saw nothing in the past of which to complain. I realized that like threads of gold, precious things had run through all this severe experience. 4BIO 33.1
Then I prayed earnestly and realized continually sweet comfort in the promises of God: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” 4BIO 33.2
These promises were fulfilled to me. I knew Jesus came sacredly near, and I found His grace all-sufficient. My soul stayed upon God. I could say from a full heart, “I know in whom I have believed.” “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”—Manuscript 75, 1893. 4BIO 33.3
Thus Ellen White, while making a recovery, could write setting forth her philosophy of the experience of prolonged suffering and could dare to hope that she had some good years ahead. Following are some highlights in this agonizing experience. 4BIO 33.4