Then, coming more directly to the basic cause of the problems, she wrote: 2BIO 433.2
When you are free from dark and gloomy, discouraging feelings, no one can speak or write words that will sway so powerful an influence as yourself, and gladness, hope, and courage are put into all hearts. But when you feel depressed, and write and talk under the cloud, no shadow can be darker than the one you cast. In this matter Satan is striving for the mastery. 2BIO 433.3
You blame others for your state of mind. Just as long as you do this, just so long will enough arise to keep you in this state of turmoil and darkness. The course which others pursue will not excuse you from trusting in God and hoping and believing in His power to hold you up. 2BIO 433.4
You must not accuse me of causing the trials of your life, because in this you deceive your own soul. It is your brooding over troubles, magnifying them, and making them real which has caused the sadness of your life. Am I to blame for this? 2BIO 433.5
I must be free from the censures you have felt free to express to me. But if I have to bear them, I shall try to do it without retaliation. I never mean to make you sad. Your life is very precious to me and to the cause of God. And it is not so much that I am afflicted with your distrust and suspicions of me that troubles me, but that you let it afflict you. It wears upon your health, and I am unable to remove the cause because it does not exist in reality. 2BIO 433.6
I am trying to seek strength and grace from God to serve Him, irrespective of the circumstances. He has given me great light for His people, and I must be free to follow the leadings of the Spirit of God and go at His bidding, relying upon the light and sense of duty I feel, and leave you the same privilege. When we can work the best together we will do so. If God says it is for His glory we work apart occasionally, we will do that. But God is willing to show me my work and my duty, and I shall look to Him in faith and trust Him fully to lead me. 2BIO 434.1
I do not have a feeling of resentment in my heart against you, but the Lord helping me, I will not allow anything to come between you and me. I will not be depressed; neither will I allow feelings of guilt and distress to destroy my usefulness when I know that I have tried to do my duty to the best of my knowledge in the fear of God. The help from God and special freedom in speaking to the people for the last four weeks have been a great strength to me, and while I cling firmly to God, He will cling to me. 2BIO 434.2
Battle Creek,
July 3, 1874.
Dear Husband,
Arrived here this afternoon. Our brethren are expecting you and are greatly rejoiced at the prospect of your coming to Battle Creek.... 2BIO 434.3
I received no letter from you here. Brother Smith received a card from you saying you anticipated being at the eastern camp meetings. I shall be very glad to see you. May God give you clear light and much grace to know your duty and to do it. 2BIO 434.4
In much love to each member of the family, especially to yourself. 2BIO 434.5
Your Ellen.
Ibid.