Ellen G. White Writings

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Life Sketches Manuscript, Page 91

Hitherto when the Spirit of God had urged me to duty, I had risen above myself, forgetting all fear and timidity in the great theme of Jesus love and the wonderful work He had done for me. The constant assurance that I was fulfilling my duty and obeying the will of God, gave me a confidence that surprised me, for it was foreign to my nature. At such times I felt willing to do or suffer anything in order to help others into the light and peace of Jesus.

But it seemed impossible for me to accomplish this work that was presented before me; even to attempt it seemed certain failure. The trials attending it appeared more than I could endure. How could a child in years, go forth from place to place, unfolding to the people the holy truths of God! My heart shrank in terror from the thought.

My brother Robert, but two years older than myself, could not accompany me, for he was feeble in health, and his timidity was greater than mine; nothing could have induced him to take such a step. My father had a family to support, and could not leave his business; but he repeatedly assured me that if God had called me to labor in other places, He would not fail to open the way for me. But these words of encouragement brought little comfort to my desponding heart; the path before me seemed hedged in with difficulties that I was unable to surmount.

I coveted death as a release from the responsibilities that were crowding upon me. At length the sweet peace I had so long enjoyed left me, and despair again pressed upon my soul. My prayers all seemed vain, and my faith was gone. Words of comfort, reproof, or encouragement were alike to me; for it

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