Diary, February 1903
NP
February 2-17, 1903
Previously unpublished.
Monday, February 2, 1903
“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, Calif.,
I thank the Lord that I did rest some hours in the night past. It was very cold. I was chilly, but had some sleep. Awoke at one o’clock and could not sleep after that. I think it has been the coldest night we have had in this section of the country. In building my fire and taking my cold-water sponge bath, I did not chill, but I did not react as I usually do. Soon after breakfast it commenced snowing very gently and increased into fast snowing. Sometimes seems as though it is about ended, then it begins again afresh. Considerable snow has fallen. Has lodged in the branches and has covered the ground. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 1
February 13
Sad day to me. Suffered much pain in my head and in my eyes. Dr. M. G. Kellogg has just come with his family from Australia. He tarried in Oakland. Will remain through the conference. Have had conversation with W. C. White, my son, and with Brother A. T. Jones in reference to the way the work should be conducted. May the Lord lead us and guide and direct us that we shall not make one false step that will injure the precious cause of truth. We are not safe in any other way than holding the beginning of our confidence firm unto the end. The Lord would have every one walk in His footprints, meek and lowly of heart, realizing there are no kings to be exalted; but all must bear in mind all ye are brethren. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 2
February 14
This past night I have been drawn out in most earnest prayer to God that He would heal my eyes. I cannot part with my eyes and I see so much writing that I wish to do, finishing the Old Testament History, before my work will be satisfactory to me. I have had more distinct, definite impressions of the Lord Jesus as the great Healer. Merciful and gracious are the promises of God. I begged in my prayers upon my bed that the Lord would help me to thoroughly understand the science of faith and to grasp the promise with unwavering faith for the restoration of my eyesight and my bodily infirmities. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 3
The promise I claim, because Christ has never failed when inquired of to exercise His power of healing. I need my eyesight. I need health of every faculty of thought and a heart cleansed, refined, purified, that Christ can impart to me the rich grace of heavenly attributes. I must with simple faith ask Him to restore to me my eyesight, and I have this night grasped His promises by the hand of faith, and my head and eyes this morning are under the Divine Physician’s healing power. I shall have faith in God. The Lord asks us to have faith in His healing power. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 4
Shall I then become imprudent and walk carelessly because I have a Great Physician who can heal all manner of diseases? No. I must exercise all my God-given powers to be right and to do right. The house we live in—our physical house—is to be preserved. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 5
We are to seek to understand more and still more perfectly what is comprehended in the living incarnation of the excellence of Christ Jesus. We must learn of Him how to work, how to walk circumspectly, how to do the work He has given us by being laborers together with God, wise and understanding what the will of the Lord is. I copy the words that express my feelings, 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 6
“Such love and meekness so divine,
I would transcribe and make them mine.
Be Thou my pattern, make me bear
More of the gracious image here;
Then God the Judge shall own my name
Among the followers of the Lamb.” 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 7
We need to depend more entirely on Christ. If we believe in Christ Jesus and will ask Him in faith for His restoring power in tact, in skill, in wisdom, doing all in accordance with His Word, we shall not be disappointed. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 8
Sunday, February 15, 1903
St. Helena
We had an interview this day with Dr. M. G. Kellogg. He has just come from Australia. He arrived here Friday and spoke Sabbath at the Sanitarium to a good congregation. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 9
Dr. Evans came last week, with his wife, to become head physician in the Sanitarium. We are very anxious that Dr. Evans and his wife Dr. Margaret, who is also a physician, should prove to be the very help which we need. They are desirous of doing the will of the Lord. They have worked in this institution. We believe these two physicians will, if connected with God, be all that we need. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 10
Those who shall fill a place in our institutions as the Lord’s chosen will be the Lord’s helping hand. Their words will be chaste and good and therefore appropriate, as laborers together with God. There should be no self-idolatry, especially with those who are acting the part of physicians, dependent upon God’s grace and His skill to perform their duties in all minor and critical cases. Their influence with the patients is to be ever pure and elevating, encouraging them to come to the Saviour just as they are, because it is their Redeemer that invites them to come and receive of Him His grace. He is waiting for their surrender that He may take away their sins and impart to them moral excellence and spiritual joy and all the excellence of an abiding faith. 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 11
February 16
I have had my mind so drawn out to some things that I cannot sleep. I was standing before the people trying to represent to them that while in the world we are to consider the words of Christ. [John 17:15-17, 19-23 quoted.] 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 12
February 17, 1903
St. Helena, Calif.
What can I say this morning? I carry a very heavy heart. It is painful for me to reprove anyone. I do not wish to injure the feelings of anyone, but what can I do when the Lord represents the individuals who are handling responsibilities, yet the man’s eyes are clouded, his spiritual discernment is not correct, his heart is not softened and subdued by the Holy Spirit? He cannot judge clearly or righteously. The Lord would set them right, sending them a message of warning, of reproof and correction, but they do not change; they refuse to receive that portion of the testimony they need so very much. One made the statement, when asked if he had received a letter from Sister White concerning a certain course of his action, “Yes, but that which you mention I cut out and put in the wastebasket; that which will be of value to me I shall preserve.” How many do this? 18LtMs, Ms 172, 1903, par. 13