Picture: Counsel #12 — Biblical Headship CR 188.1
Christlike leadership in marriage isn’t about dominating the home. Instead, it starts with self-sacrifice. When Scripture calls husbands to be the “head” of the home, it is not granting superiority! Our Bible verse for today paints a clear picture of God’s expectation for how a husband should love his wife through Christ’s example. This means biblical headship looks far more like laying down your life than laying down the law. CR 188.2
True leadership doesn’t elevate one person over another, but lifts the entire household up by reflecting the servant-hearted nature of Christ. In practice, this looks like initiating difficult conversations, taking ownership of faults, and leading the family spiritually through prayer and integrity. Headship doesn’t give husbands permission to bark orders or make decisions in isolation. When it comes to being the head, husbands and fathers should listen well, be slow to anger, value their spouse’s input, and seek God’s will above their own. Additionally, headship means taking the first step toward reconciliation, speaking life into your home,[194]"Speaking life" means using language that is uplifting, encouraging, and constructive. and modeling repentance when needed. Leadership in marriage is not about rank - it’s about the sacrificial love Christ has for all humanity.[195] https://adventistreview.org/commentary/the-manly-way-to-lead/ CR 188.3
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 NIV CR 188.4
“Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership…. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 106 CR 188.5
Reflect: What does biblical headship look like in your home? CR 188.6
