Picture: Counsel #13 — Keeping the Lifeblood Pumping CR 189.1
Healthy communication is the heartbeat of a strong marriage. Couples often drift apart not because they stop loving each other, but because they stop communicating clearly and intentionally. Keeping this in mind, active listening is one of the most powerful ways to show love. CR 189.2
The best way to do this is to use “I” statements rather than “you” accusations. For example, saying things like, “I feel hurt when I’m left out of the decision” sounds very different from “You never consider me.” Another important thing to be aware of is your body language. Folded arms, eye-rolling, or checking your phone while your partner is talking sends the message that you really don’t care much about what they’re saying. Additionally, avoid using absolutes like “always” and “never.” These words shut down conversations by exaggerating the issue and will make your spouse feel attacked. Instead, prioritize time to talk about your day, your dreams, and your fears. God wants you to communicate in a way that reassures your spouse that they’re seen, heard, and that they matter.[196] https://family.adventist.org/good-communication/ CR 189.3
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 NIV CR 189.4
“Speech is one of the great gifts of God. It is the means by which the thoughts of the heart are communicated.” Ellen White in In Heavenly Places, p. 174 CR 189.5
Reflect: Do your words and tone reflect patience and care, or have you slipped into patterns of defensiveness and dismissal? CR 189.6
