Picture: Counsel #17 — Forgive CR 193.1
According to the Bible, forgiveness is not a one-time decision. When others hurt us, Christians are called to maintain a Spirit-led willingness to forgive, no matter how often it happens. In marriage, where two imperfect people share life, offenses are inevitable. Whether it’s a harsh word, a broken promise, or a recurring struggle, forgiveness is essential for healing and moving forward.[200] https://www.adventist.org/forgiveness/ CR 193.2
Though difficult, especially when the wound is deep or repeated, forgiveness is a kingdom requirement. God offers not only His strength to forgive but also the willingness when we ask. CR 193.3
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse sin, ignore boundaries, or pretend nothing happened. It means releasing the right to retaliate and the desire to hold a grudge. It acknowledges the pain while not letting it define the relationship. In Christ, forgiveness is a gift freely given. Our perfect and blameless God forgives all our sins—which killed His dear Son, and He can also transform our hearts to forgive those who wrong us. CR 193.4
Reconciliation may not always be appropriate following forgiveness, especially in abusive circumstances. Forgiveness is not about restoring trust overnight; it’s about choosing freedom from bitterness and surrendering the burden to God. The process takes time, but each choice to extend grace moves us closer to emotional and spiritual healing. CR 193.5
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV CR 193.6
“We are not forgiven because we forgive, but as we forgive.” Ellen White in The Faith I Live By, p. 131 CR 193.7
Reflect: How hard is it for you to forgive your spouse? CR 193.8
