I awoke this morning before five o’clock with a prayer in my heart and upon my lips for you. “Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.” John 12:35. Why? Because if he does not walk in the light of the Sun of Righteousness he is following another leader. He may have the best of resolutions. His purposes may be ever so strong. He may plan just the course he will pursue and flatter himself there will be a good result. But there is one who devises that as soon as he shall cease to make God his trust, and follow a course of his own choosing, he will obtain the position of leadership, and he leads him into by and forbidden paths. “He walketh in darkness” and “knoweth not whither he goeth,” but flatters himself that he is walking in safe paths.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 1

Jesus speaks, “While ye have the light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of the light.” Verse 36. It is for your present and future eternal interest that you heed these words of counsel. The Lord has not left you in uncertainty and in darkness, to stumble your way along not knowing whither your steps are tending. If the power of darkness can afflict my soul and weigh down my heart with anxiety and distress through the very ones who are dear unto me, linked to me by the ties of relationship—the strongest natural ties—he will work with every device he can command. He will seek to weaken my influence, to make of none effect the counsel of God through your mother. That counsel shall—through your neglect, through your indifference and disregard—lose its force and influence upon the minds of others, and the light God shall impart to them through your mother will be of none effect.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 2

Light is shining upon you, my son. You are not one who is ignorant of your Lord’s will, but you have set this will aside to follow your own will. Yes, and not your own, but a will that is stronger and is controlling in its power if the human will is not determinedly placed on the side of God and the universe of heaven. In your attitude you are saying to the Spirit of God, Go Thy way for this time, and when I have a more convenient season I will call for Thee.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 3

Christ was giving His last lessons to His disciples. Through the ministration of the Holy Spirit, which is the promised Comforter, all these sayings of Jesus would be brought to their remembrance. “He that loveth his life shall lose it.” That is, he that is constantly planning to benefit himself, to walk in paths where Christ does not lead the way. “And he that hateth his life”—refuseth to follow the impulse of his own natural heart—“shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honor.” [Verses 25, 26.]7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 4

This should be the aim and purpose of your life, to pursue a course that shall honor God, that shall not give Satan all the advantage to control the thoughts, the will, and the endowments the Lord has graciously bestowed to be used to His glory. Every jot, every tittle of our capabilities is lent us in trust to be improved, to be required of us with interest. They must be in sacred service to God, else there is daily robbery of God as in the case of the unprofitable servant—slothful, the God of heaven has named him—who hid his talents in the earth, complaining of God being hard, exacting.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 5

“Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me. And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me. I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness. And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not; for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. For I have not spoken of myself.” John 12:44-49.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 6

The Lord Jesus calls us to self-surrender and self-denial. It costs us something to be saved. It cost heaven an infinite sum to provide a way whereby we may be saved. Now if saved, we are willing subjects of Christ’s kingdom, and if we will be saved in God’s appointed way, we shall be the elect, chosen of God and precious. If we are lost, it is because we choose our own way and our own will and refuse to be under discipline and captivity to Jesus Christ, which means the freedom of the sons of God. If we think we can do very much as we please, serve God at will and work away from Christ when it suits our own inclination, it will be at great cost to ourselves, for it is at the loss of our souls. “No man can serve two masters. ... Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” [Matthew 6:24.]7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 7

“Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children.” [Ephesians 5:1.] The child walks by his father’s side, but things attract his attention and interest and please him. He lets go of his father’s hand, and he walks away from his father. The child is nearing a dangerous path, a steep precipice. The father sees the danger of his child and calls, “Come away. Go no farther in that path.” The child sees no danger; the ground seems firm beneath his feet; the path is strewn with flowers, and he is not willing to heed the voice. The voice comes again and again, “Come to my side immediately.” The child reluctantly obeys and is in safety. He places his hand in the hand of his father and trusts his father’s wisdom.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 8

We may apply this to our spiritual walk. The Lord Jesus cannot save any soul who will persistently follow his own way and his own will. There is no sanctification of the soul who holds persistently to his own way. I look upon you as in the greatest danger. I have given to you the invitations and the warnings and entreaties of the Spirit of God, and yet my soul is grieved, for I see you departing from the counsels of the Lord, marking out your own course; and this places me where I have not confidence in you, because you have taken your hand out of the hand of Christ. “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.” [John 15:4.]7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 9

I cannot but warn and entreat you although it is only repeating what has been said again and again. “If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered.” [Verse 6.] I know if you were following on to know the Lord, you would not be so utterly silent in regard to your soul’s highest interest. You know nothing could make my heart more joyful than to know that you were walking in the truth.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 10

While you are walking in darkness, it would be a betrayal of trust to manifest confidence in your judgment, and command things at such a distance in regard to my business.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 11

I have not received communication in reference to these things of our business relation only as you have told me, and it is most painful for me not to be able to do the things which you desire, as you complain about those whom I have been compelled to entrust with my business. I can have no more courage to trust it with you, when you take positions as you do against your own brother, whom I know is seeking to do the will of God, and who has left home and children, and works early and late, not regarding himself. I feel sorry, so sorry that you will entertain such feelings and manifest such a spirit when I know how he has tried to help you. He has passed through sorrows, and he feels his loss deeply. He has had no easy time, but does not seek to please himself and lays aside his own preferences and choice to do the Lord’s will.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 12

I am sorry, so sorry for you, but I am seeking to know the will of God, and to do His will, and must do this whether it pleases you or not. I cannot run any more risks on your account, when it may be the means of proving your ruin rather than your salvation. I must take a course that will not contradict the testimonies I am bearing to others. If you will not answer to the claims of God, if you will not for Christ’s sake, who gave His life for you, give yourself unreservedly to Jesus, you will not heed the words of your mother. If you feel annoyed at what I say, nevertheless I must speak.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 13

I have it presented before me that without a most determined effort on your part, you will never recover yourself from the snare of Satan. He leads you; he controls your mind. You are weak in moral power, and the longer you follow in the course you have chosen the less probability will there be of anything being brought to bear upon your soul to make you feel your peril and the necessity of laying hold of Christ to recover yourself before it is everlastingly too late. When you turn square about and begin to gather up the rays of light the Lord has given you, then you will see how Satan has bound you about with one cord after another until he stands and laughs and says, “Your case is hopeless. I have your soul and body under my control.”7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 14

But your case is not hopeless. You have had great light, great opportunities, and if you fail of heaven it is yourself alone that is to blame. The throne of God is clear. I may not be guiltless, for I hoped and hoped, and have worked with every power I could command to keep you from feeling the humiliation which was the natural result of your own course of action in doing as you pleased, contrary to counsel and advice. Now in this matter I may have erred, although it was a great relief to you for the time being. But when you wrote us as you did to Australia to telegraph certain things to you, I had no liberty to do it, and should not, cannot do it now, in your present religious attitude.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 15

All that work of uncertainty which I now deplore is no more to be acted over. It has nearly ruined my influence and the faith of my brethren in me, and in the testimonies God has given me. And I have no faith in human nature, not even in my own children, unless they are in altogether a different position religiously than you are today. I pray for you; that is as far as I can go.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 16

I have not written a line to Brother Lindsay or to any others, except to Captain Eldridge upon matters that in no way concerned you, but related to himself and to the office. I shall pray for you while I and you shall live. But although Noah and Job and Daniel were in the land they cannot save son or daughter but only deliver their own souls by their own righteousness. It rests wholly with you whether you will ever enter the portals of the city of God. Your own course of action is deciding your case for eternity. God will not be trifled with. He has borne long with you. How much longer will you grieve the Spirit of God? Shall Jesus Christ have died for you in vain?7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 17

It is not now too late for wrongs to be righted, not now too late for you to throw your soul upon the merits of the blood of a crucified and risen Saviour. I have had fears you would pursue your own course until the command would be given, Cut down the tree. Why cumbereth it the ground? I implore you not to venture day after day to follow the leadings of another spirit. Your case afflicts my soul. I have felt so intensely over your case. If you could hear me, I would shout to you across the broad waters, “Turn ye, turn ye; ... for why will you die?” [Ezekiel 33:11.] Have not these very words been addressed to you from my pen? Do you mean to heed them or do you mean to wait until death has laid hold upon your mortal body before you will humble your heart to repent and be converted? What are you losing? Time—golden opportunities to do good. You are turning away from the Lord’s messages, refusing to heed them, choosing your own course of action.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 18

And could you expect, my son, that at this distance I should telegraph to you as you desired? I dare not do it. If I lose all my property through mismanagement of others, I had better do it than through the mismanagement of my own son. I cannot place myself in your hands in any way while you will not place yourself in the hands of God, to seek His counsel and to be humbly guided by His wisdom. “Seek the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near.” [Isaiah 55:6.] Have pity on yourself, have pity on me, and show respect to Jesus Christ who has bought you with His own blood. May the Lord work for you! I can do nothing more. However good may be your intentions and purposes, Christ says, “Without me ye can do nothing.” [John 15:5.]7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 19

Mother.

January 15

Our conference is over. With the blessing of God, I have been enabled to speak once and sometimes on special occasions twice, per day; and on two days of special work I spoke three times. We have had most precious instructive meetings. We have seen advancement daily, and we have the most positive evidence that the whole assembly have been benefited, but in a special manner have the delegates received great light and most precious instruction.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 20

The time is past, and now the preparation is for New Zealand. Your mother dreads the journey, but the Lord will sustain her. I have comfort and strength, and when speaking to those who would never listen to reproof from anyone, I have spoken to them plainly. And the individuals have arisen and in the congregation said, “Sister White has spoken to me. I receive every word of it. I understand it and I do not reject one word.” These men were proud, independent men, who felt themselves always superior to anyone else. The Spirit of God has taken hold of their hearts, and these two men are struggling like strong men swimming in a strong current against the tide for life.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 21

For twelve months their cases have been on my mind, but I dared not touch them, knowing it would be stern labor for me. But I have had an interview alone with them and then spoke to them before the church, that their influence should no longer hold anyone in deception and remain as a stumbling block. They are now wrestling against themselves, breaking the bands of Satan and coming into the light. Oh, how I wish you had been present! I would have labored for you with all the divine power to co-operate with my human efforts. But all I can do is to speak with the pen, and I fear you care not for this.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 22

Mother.

No letter for two mails from you—not a word from anyone concerning you—leaving me in anxiety. I will not leave you thus. I will write every mail. The Lord is soon to come.7LtMs, Lt 59, 1892, par. 23

Lt 58, 1892

Lt 60, 1892