Ms 76, 1896

Diary/Private Matter Regarding the Training of Children

“Sunnyside,” Cooranbong

1896

Previously unpublished.

You ask me to advise in regard to the training of children. Parental obligations are made very plain in the Word of God. There are rules I will write out, as I have done over and over again, in regard to the management of children.11LtMs, Ms 76, 1896, par. 1

Bro. _____ and his wife are not walking and working in the light. They have a serious matter and I shall now write the facts in the case, bringing out only that which is essential to call them to their neglected duties. Their children are not trained and managed. The neglected work of the first three years of the life of a child is a sad loss. Indulgence of appetite has held sway over the parents, and the education of the father in the work of the ministry has been after a perverted order. His combative spirit has not been favorable to the development of correct habits and attitudes in the home, and in connection with brethren a criticizing spirit has held sway. There has not been an even discipline toward his children. Severity and indulgence—just as his mind happened to be influenced—has made the education of his children to be of an objectionable character, and the seeds sown is the harvest reaped. The conversations in regard to matters of his brethren have not been as God would have them, and the respect and reverence that should be encouraged has been largely neglected.11LtMs, Ms 76, 1896, par. 2

The son of Bro. _______ has been the idol and pet of the home. He has not been the twig bent in the right direction. But, now, as the seed sown so will be the harvest. Satan will work through the child to spoil his own character and give pain to his indulgent parents. It is a lamentable thing when parents, with the Bible before them, do not obey its directions. Every father and mother should be impressed with a solemn sense of their own responsibilities. The great burden of [the father's] life work should be to daily seek grace from God for guidance to make his course of action toward his children that of a faithful pastor to meet every difficulty with the plain, “Thus saith the Lord.” Seek the Lord at every step to make every year of the children's life pleasant with the Lord, for this trust in your hands, my brother, my sister, is the most solemn responsibility you can possibly bear. You have a sacred, solemn work. The religion of the Bible is to have your Redeemer preside in your home and fit yourselves and your children “for the home of the Lord forever.” You now have sorrow because you see the result of indulgence and severity at times.11LtMs, Ms 76, 1896, par. 3

Every father is to realize he is the priest in his home—he is the houseband. In the management and guidance of his children [he is] to take the Word of God, lay it open before him, compare the Lord's counsel with his course of action to ascertain if he has been following the way of the Lord, and [to] inquire as he reads, as he searches for the wisdom of God, “Am I teaching my children the counsel of the Most High?” [See Psalm 107:11.] Parents work into the character of their children their own defective elements. They have a solemn, serious work to guide [their children] at every step, to close every door of temptation, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant to their children. If they do their duty and walk in the light God has given in His Word, God will set the influences of heaven in operation to work with [the father's] earnest, prayerful efforts to be a true guide to his children. He will not be blind to their inclinations and unholy practices and will repress many unholy, unsanctified plans.11LtMs, Ms 76, 1896, par. 4

A mother should be one to cooperate with the father in all his efforts to elevate the standard in the home. This has not been done as it should have been.11LtMs, Ms 76, 1896, par. 5