“Alone, So Alone”

Ellen White recognized that her responsibility ended when she had done all in her skill and power to present God's messages with love, concern and appeal. But when they were not received, her heart was heavy. She recognized that the hidden forces of evil were in the fray, and at times she felt very much alone. Early Friday morning, March 1, she confided her feelings in general:6BIO 121.8

I am carrying a weight of great responsibility, and I scarcely venture to speak of the weight that oppresses my soul, for there is not one of those connected with me that can possibly understand the anguish of my heart. I feel that I am alone, alone as far as any soul's being able to understand is concerned.6BIO 122.1

But why do I wish that they could? I have my Friend in Jesus, and He can help me and He alone. He has been to me a very present help in times of greatest necessity, and now I can only trust, and hang my helpless soul on Jesus Christ.6BIO 122.2

I am instructed that the less I have to draw upon human helpers engaged in the work in helping me, even in my own house, the better. It is wise not to trust in any mortal. I must move forward, not expecting they will understand. I must work alone, alone.6BIO 122.3

Then a heavenly being spoke to her:6BIO 122.4

“Who can stand by you in the hour of fierce conflict, when in combat with the powers of darkness, with Satan and his host of invisible allies? You will, as far as human help is concerned, remain alone. The Lord alone understands. In Him you may trust. Commit the keeping of your soul to Him who has given your special work to you.

“Your Mediator, your Comforter, will not leave you, although Satan will interpose his presence, his companionship. Be not afraid. I am your Redeemer who was tempted in all points like as you are tempted. I will impress your mind, and ever know I will not leave you nor forsake you.”6BIO 122.5

She then expressed her determination, regardless of what she was called upon to meet:6BIO 122.6

I have been nearly overcome with perplexities. I will trust in God. All the reason I desire to live is to bear my part in the work as the Lord's messenger, faithfully discerning the evil because of the light given me, and also discerning the right. I have had very clear instruction, from which I am not to deviate one particle under any representation to, under any statement of, any human being—minister or physician.6BIO 122.7

As she thus contemplated, the heavenly messenger spoke to her again:6BIO 123.1

“In every spiritual conflict you are not alone. By the eye of faith you are to see your Redeemer as your present help in every time of need. In your experience of the message given you to bear, the truth is written just as it is in the books of heaven.6BIO 123.2

“All false statements made will appear just as they are, for it is against Christ that they do this evil, working on the enemy's side. They are poor, deceived souls, but they choose the darkness when they might have the light. They are those who are learning their lessons from the fallen apostate and they have eyes, but they will not acknowledge the evidence. They have ears to hear, but will report the very opposite of the truth which they hear, turning it to falsehood. There is not any dependence to be placed in the words they speak.”6BIO 123.3

Then, with assurance the charge came to her:6BIO 123.4

“Go and bear your testimony, teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you, and ‘lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.’”—Manuscript 154, 1907.

The record of what took place at Elmshaven that early Friday morning provides an intimate picture of her relationship to her own experiences and lays the foundation for what happened the next Sunday night.6BIO 123.5