So Alone in the Mountains

Although her health was improving and she was sleeping quite well, she was unable to apply herself yet to writing. As she looked from the cottage to the pine-covered hills close by she was reminded of the many happy times she and James had enjoyed there. But this time he was not there to share her thoughts and feelings. She wrote:3BIO 182.3

I have been among the mountains, but alone.... Alone, alone! God's dealings seem mysterious, His purposes unfathomable; yet I know that they must be just, and wise, and merciful. It is my privilege and duty to wait patiently for Him, the language of my heart at all times being, “He doeth all things well.”—Life Sketches of Ellen G. White, 257.3BIO 182.4

Willie had remained in Battle Creek to work with Edson in taking care of the financial affairs relating to James White's estate. To him she wrote on September 12:3BIO 182.5

I miss Father more and more. Especially do I feel his loss while here in the mountains. I find it a very different thing being in the mountains with my husband and in the mountains without him. I am fully of the opinion that my life was so entwined or interwoven with my husband's that it is about impossible for me to be of any great account without him. We have tested the mountains under most unfavorable circumstances.—Letter 17, 1881.3BIO 182.6

For her, Colorado with its beautiful mountains had lost its lure. She did some sewing to while away the time, but only little writing. Butler was urging her to attend the General Conference session being planned for November or December. The California camp meeting would be held a little before that, and she was debating in her mind whether to return for the winter to their comfortable home in Battle Creek or to go to California and occupy their Oakland home. As to the General Conference session, she told Mary that she “must have further light before consenting to go in her present state of health” (MKW to WCW, September 14, 1881). She finally decided in favor of California, for she felt it would not be prudent to return to the East with the burdens she would have to face there.3BIO 183.1