Epistle Number Four

Dear Sister ——: I had some time for reflection yesterday, and have some few ideas that I wish to present to you. I could not readily answer your question concerning your duty to travel with your husband. I had not yet learned the result of your accompanying him, therefore I could not speak as understanding as I could if I had been acquainted with the influence you had exerted. I cannot give counsel in the dark. I must know that my counsel is correct in the light. Great advantage is taken of my words, therefore I must move very cautiously. After careful reflection, seeking to call up things which have been shown me in your case, I am prepared to write you.T19 83.2

In the letters you have written to me in regard to Bro. ——, I fear that you are prejudiced, and have some jealousy. I hope this is not the case, but I fear it is. You and your husband are very sensitive, and are naturally jealous; therefore you need to guard yourselves in this direction. We do not feel that Bro. —— is seeing all things clearly. We think his wife is far from right, and has great influence over him; yet we hope that if all move in wisdom toward him, he will yet recover himself from the snare of Satan and see all things clearly.T19 84.1

Dear Sr. ——, we are determined to be impartial, and not have our words or acts in any way influenced by hearsay. We have no pets. May the Lord give us heavenly wisdom, that we may deal righteously and impartially, and thus meet the mind of the Lord. We do not want our works wrought in self. We do not want personal feelings. If we think we are not specially considered, or if we see or imagine that we see positive neglect, we want the spirit of our forgiving Master. The people who professed to be his followers received him not, because his face was toward Jerusalem, and he gave no special indications that he was to tarry with them. They did not open their doors to the heavenly Guest, and did not urge his abiding with them, although they beheld him weary with his journey, and the night was drawing on. They gave no sign that they really desired Jesus. The disciples knew that he designed to tarry there that night, and they felt so keenly the slight thus given to their Lord, that they were angry, and prayed Jesus to show proper resentment, and call down fire from heaven to consume those who had thus abused him. He rebuked their indignation and zeal for his honor, and told them that he came not to visit with judgment, but to show mercy.T19 84.2

This lesson of our Saviour's is for you and me. No resentment must come into our hearts. When reviled, we must not revile again. Oh! jealousy and evil surmising, what mischief hast thou done! wrought bitterness, and turned friendship and love into gall and hatred. We must be less proud, less sensitive, have less self-love, and be dead to self-interest. Our interest must be submerged in Christ, and we be able to say, “I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” Christ has given us the lesson how to make everything easy and happy as we pass along. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Here is the great difficulty: there is so little meekness and lowliness, that the yoke galls, and the burden is heavy. When we possess true meekness, true lowliness, we are so lost in Christ that we do not take neglect nor slights to heart; we are deaf to reproach, and blind to scorn and insult.T19 85.1

Sr. ——, as the peculiarities of your case come clearly before me, I see a serious objection to your traveling. You do not take burdens upon yourself that you should. You call forth sympathy from others, but do not give in return. You lay your whole weight where you are, and too frequently are waited upon when those who bear their own burden and yours also, are no more able to do this than yourself. You are too helpless for your own good, and the influence is not such as should be for a minister's wife. You need more physical labor than you have; and I think, from what has been shown me, that you would be more in the line of your duty engaging cheerfully in the work of educating your daughter, and encouraging a love of domestic duties. You have not had the education in this direction that you should, which has made your life more unhappy than it would have been had you received the education you ought to have had in your girlhood. You do not love physical labor; and when journeying, you fill the bill of an invalid, and fail to be helpful, and lighten the burdens you make, by doing what you can. You fail to realize that frequently the very ones who wait on you are no more able to perform the extra task than you are. You lean on others. You lay your whole weight upon them. I have no evidence that God has called you to do a special work in traveling.T19 86.1

You have an education to obtain that you do not yet possess. Who can so well instruct their own child as the mother? Who can so well learn the defects in her own organization, and in her child's, as the mother, while in the performance of the duties which Heaven has allotted her? Because you do not love this work, is no evidence that it is not the work the Lord has assigned you. You have not physical nor mental strength to make it an object for you to travel. You wish to be ministered unto, instead of ministering unto others. You are not helpful enough to offset the burden you are to your husband, and to those around you.T19 86.2

There is no person qualified to act wisely in church matters, or to deal with wiry minds subject to Satan's especial temptations, who cannot make a success of wisely managing their own child or children. If they love this employment, if they can cheerfully and lovingly perform the part required of them as parents, then they can better understand how to bear burdens in the church. Dear sister, I would advise you to make a good wife to your husband, and a good home for him. Lean less heavily upon him, and rely upon your own resources. Arouse yourself to do the very work the Lord would have you to do. You are inclined to be anxious to do some great work—to fill some large mission, and neglect the small duties right in your path, which are just as necessary to be accomplished as the larger. You walk over these, and aspire to a larger work. Let your ambition be aroused to be useful, to be a workman in the world instead of a spectator.T19 87.1

My dear sister, I speak plainly. I dare not do otherwise. I plead with you to take up life's burdens, instead of shunning them. Help your husband by helping yourself. You both have ideas of dignity's being maintained by the minister which is not in accordance with the example of our Lord. The ministers of Christ should possess sobriety, meekness, love, long-suffering, forbearance, pity, and courtesy. He should be circumspect, elevated in thought and conversation; his deportment blameless. This is gospel dignity. But if a minister comes to a family where he can wait on himself, he should do so by all means; and he should by his example encourage industry by weaving in physical exercise when he has not a multiplicity of duties and burdens to bear. He will not detract from his dignity by engaging in useful labor. He will better relate himself to life and health by physical exercise. The circulation of the blood will be better equalized. Physical labor, a diversion from mental, will draw the blood from the brain. It is essential to your husband to have more physical labor in order to relieve the brain. Digestion will be forwarded by physical exercise. A part of his time every day spent in physical exercise, when not positively urged by a protracted effort in a course of meetings, would be an advantage and not detract from ministerial dignity. The example will be in accordance with that of our divine Master.T19 87.2

We love you, and want you to be successful in your efforts in striving for the better life.T19 88.1

E. G. W.

Steamer Keokuk, Mississippi River, Sept. 30, 1869.

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