Wives of Ministers

June 5th, 1863, I was shown that Satan was ever at work to dishearten, and lead astray ministers whom God has chosen to preach the truth. The most effectual way that he can work is through home influences, through unconsecrated companions. If he can control their minds, through them he can the more readily gain access to the husband, who is laboring in word and doctrine to save souls. I was referred to the warnings which God has repeatedly given, and the duties pointed out belonging to the wife of a minister; yet these warnings have not had a lasting influence. The testimonies given them have had effect but a short time. The light has been but partially followed. Obedience and devotion to God have been forgotten, also the sacred obligation resting upon them to improve the privileges and light given, and walk as children of the light. If the vail could be parted, and each see just how their case is regarded in heaven, they would awake, and with fear inquire, What shall I do to be saved?T10 57.1

The minister's wife who is not devoted to God is no help to her husband. While the minister dwells upon the necessity of bearing the cross, and upon self-denial, the acts of his wife, and her daily example often contradict his preaching, and destroy its force. In this way his wife is a great hindrance, and she often leads her husband away from his duty, and from God. She does not realize what a sin she is committing. Instead of seeking to be useful, with true love for souls in the heart, constrained by the power of Christ's love, and by unselfish, holy principles, help such as need help; she shrinks from the task, prefers a useless life. She does not choose to do the will of God, and be co-worker with her husband, with angels, and with God. It is a great sin for the wife of the minister when accompanying her husband in his mission to save souls, to hinder him in his work, by manifesting unhappy discontent. Instead of entering with him heartily in his labors, seeking every opportunity to unite her interest and labor with his; she often studies her own ease, how she can make it more easy or pleasant for herself. If things around them are not as agreeable as she could wish (as they will not always be), she should not allow homesick feelings; or by lack of cheerfulness and by spoken complaints harass the husband and make his task harder, and perhaps draw him by her discontent from the place where he could do good, in order to gratify her. She should not draw the interest of her husband from laboring for the salvation of souls, to sympathize with her ailments, and gratify a whimsical, discontented feeling of her own. If she would forget herself, and labor to help others, talk and pray with poor souls, and act as if their salvation was of higher importance than any other consideration; she would have no time to be homesick. She would feel from day to day a sweet satisfaction as a reward for her unselfish labor. I cannot call it sacrifice, for some of our ministers’ wives do not know what it is to sacrifice or suffer for the truth's sake.T10 57.2

I was shown that wives of ministers used to suffer persecution and want. Their husbands suffered imprisonment, and sometimes death. Those noble, self-sacrificing women suffered with their husbands, and their reward will be equal to that bestowed on the husband. Mrs. Boardman and the Mrs. Judsons suffered for the truth—suffered with their companions. They sacrificed home and friends in every sense of the word, to aid their companions in the work of enlightening those who sat in darkness; to reveal to them the hidden mysteries of the word of God. Their lives were in constant peril. To save souls was the great motive of their lives. For this they could cheerfully suffer.T10 59.1

I was shown the life of Christ. His self-denial and sacrifice, when compared with the trials and sufferings of the wives of some of our ministers, causes anything which they may call sacrifice to sink into insignificance.T10 59.2

If the minister's wife speaks words of discontent and discouragement, the influence will be disheartening upon the husband, and will cripple him in his labor; especially if his success depends upon surrounding influences.T10 59.3

Must the minister of God in such cases be crippled or torn from the field of his labors to gratify these feelings which arise in his wife, from an unwillingness to yield feeling to duty? The wife should conform her wishes and pleasures to duty, and give up her selfish feelings for Christ, and the truth's sake. Satan has had much to do with controlling the labors of the ministers, through the influence of selfish, ease-loving companions.T10 59.4

If a minister's wife accompanies her husband in his travels, she should not go to be waited upon, and to visit, or for her own special enjoyment, but to labor with him. She should have a united interest with him to do good. She should be willing to accompany her husband, if home cares do not hinder, and she should aid him in his efforts to save souls. She should with meekness and humility, yet with a noble self-reliance, have a leading influence upon minds around her, and should act her part, and bear her cross and burden in meeting, and around the family altar, and in conversation at the fire-side. The people expect this, and they have a right to expect it. If these expectations are not realized, the husband's influence is more than half destroyed. The wife of a minister can do much, if she will. She can with him do almost an equal amount of good, if she possesses the spirit of self-sacrifice, and has a love for souls. A sister laborer in the cause of truth can understand and reach some cases, especially among the sisters, that the minister cannot. A responsibility rests upon a minister's wife which she should not and cannot lightly throw off. God will require the talent lent her, with usury. She should work earnestly, faithfully, and unitedly with her husband, to save souls. She should never urge her wishes and desires, or express a lack of interest in her husband's labor, or dwell upon homesick, discontented feelings. All these natural feelings she must overcome. She should have a purpose in life which should unfalteringly be carried out. What if this conflicts with the feelings, and pleasures, and natural tastes? These should be cheerfully and readily sacrificed, in order to do good and save souls.T10 60.1

The wives of ministers should live devoted, prayerful lives. But some would enjoy a religion in which there are no crosses, and which calls for no self-denial and exertion on their part. Instead of standing nobly and individually for themselves, leaning upon God for strength, and acting out their individual responsibility, they have much of the time been dependent upon others, and deriving their spiritual life from them. If they would only lean confidingly and in a child-like manner, trustingly upon God, and have their affections centered in Jesus, deriving their life from Christ, the living vine, what an amount of good they might do—what a help they might be to others—what a support to their husbands, and what a reward would be theirs in the end! “Well done, good and faithful servants,” would fall like sweetest music upon their ears. The words, “Enter into the joy of thy Lord,” would repay them a thousand times for all suffering and trials endured to save precious souls.T10 61.1

Those who will not improve the talent God has given them, will fail of everlasting life. Those who have been of but little use in the world will be rewarded accordingly—as their works have been. When everything goes smoothly, they are borne along on the wave; but when they need earnestly and untiringly to apply the oar, and row against wind and tide, there seems to be no energy in their Christian character. They will not take the trouble to work, but lay down their oars, and contentedly let the current carry them down stream. Thus they generally remain until some one takes the burden, and labors earnestly and energetically to pull them up stream. Every time they yield to such indolence, they lose strength, and have less inclination to work in the cause of God. It is only the faithful conqueror who wins eternal glory.T10 61.2

A minister's wife should ever have a leading influence on the minds of those with whom she associates, and she will be a help or a wonderful hindrance. She either gathers with Christ or scatters abroad. There is a lack of a self-sacrificing missionary spirit among the companions of our ministers. It is self first, and then Christ secondly, and even thirdly.T10 62.1

Never should a minister take his wife with him unless he knows she can be a spiritual help; one who can bear, and endure, and suffer, and do good, and help to benefit souls for Christ's sake.T10 62.2

If they accompany their husbands it should be to labor unitedly with them. They must not expect to be free from trials and disappointments. They should not think too much of pleasant feelings. What have feelings to do with duty? I was cited to the case of Abraham. God said to Abraham, “Take now thine only son, Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah, and offer him up there for a burnt-offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” Abraham obeyed God. He did not consult his feelings, but with a noble faith and confidence in God he prepared for his journey.T10 62.3

With a torn heart filled with anguish he beheld the proud and loving mother gazing with fond affection upon her son of promise. He walked away with that loved son. Abraham suffered; yet he did not let his will rise in rebellion to the will of God. Duty, stern duty, upheld him. He dared not consult or yield to his feelings for one moment. His only son walked by the side of his stern, loving, suffering father, talking engagedly, uttering over and over the fond name of father, and then inquiring “where is the sacrifice?” Oh, what a test for the faithful father. Angels looked with pleased wonder upon the scene. The faithful servant of God even bound his beloved son and laid him upon the wood. The knife was raised, when an angel cries out, “Abraham, Abraham, lay not thine hand upon the lad!”T10 63.1

I saw that it was no light thing to be a Christian. It is a small matter to profess to be a Christian; but it is a great and sacred thing to live a Christian life. There is but a little time now to secure the immortal crown, to have a record of good acts and fulfilled duties recorded in heaven. Every tree is judged by its fruit. Every one will be judged according to their deeds, not their profession, or their faith. The question will never be asked, How much did they profess? but, what fruit did they bear? If the tree is corrupt the fruit is evil. If the tree is good it cannot produce evil fruit.T10 63.2