I cannot sleep after two o’clock, but my heart is drawn out to my Lord and Saviour in prayer. What evidence He hath given us of His love! And shall we not respond to that wonderful love? The grace of Christ may be ours every moment to guard and protect us.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 1

Last evening at the commencement of the Sabbath my heart was relieved of great burdens that I had been carrying for some time, but Thursday and Friday’s work in writing was a great relief to my soul. I sent much matter in the mail. I have given my message to souls in danger and to souls wounded and bruised and minds confused and almost unbalanced by the unwise speech of the vain talkers. Oh, if they could only realize the sadness and pain the speech of the false tongue can cause to souls who love God, who love the truth, and who are trying to do the will of God, what a change they would make in the free use of their unruly member which is not under control! Their words pierce heart and brain. The unjust, untrue speech of persons who profess to know the truth bruises the souls of those who have been trying to do service for God. I will say in this my diary, The Lord has a controversy with these poor, deluded souls who do not understand that they are being made the tools for Satan’s devising to hurt souls.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 2

August 2, 1903

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, Calif.,

Yesterday, Sabbath, I spoke to a very nice congregation upon Isaiah 56. The Lord blessed me with great freedom. The discourse is reported for publication.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 3

August 3, 1903

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, Calif.,

I awoke about half-past one o’clock. I am being deeply impressed that we have come to an important crisis. I cannot keep silent at such a time as this.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 4

August 4, 1903

St. Helena

I have slept well through the night. For several days I have been pressed as a cart beneath sheaves to say many things by letter to our people to arouse in them, if possible, a sense of our position as Seventh-day Adventists to let the light of warning go forth. Isaiah 51. These things are presented unto me with much clearness.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 5

August 11, 1903

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California

I am unable to sleep after half-past two o’clock a.m., but the Lord lives and rules in the heavens and He would have me seek His face and draw nigh to Him for His counsel. I dare not take one step in my own human judgment for the enemy is watching his opportunity to put his thoughts, his suggestions, into my mind. The Saviour speaks to me, “If any man thirst, let him come unto Me and drink.” [John 7:37.]18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 6

August 12, 1903

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California

I am receiving invitations to attend the Los Angeles camp-meeting. I do not feel it wise for me to go lest I shall unwisely and unnecessarily tax my physical and mental powers and unfit myself for my writings which I wish to place in consistent form to be used. I thank the Lord that He does give me clearness of mind to write many things. My heart is full of thanksgiving to God that the precious truth is so clear and distinct, given in no uncertain sound. Our sufficiency and strength are not created by ourselves. Let us keep closely linked up with our Saviour. Oh, let us come in humility before God, but trustingly, believing His encouraging words: “Ask and ye shall receive.” [John 16:24.]18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 7

St. Helena, Calif., August 13

“Elmshaven,”

I thank the Lord that there is now mercy still offered to the Lord’s backslidden church. A measurement was being made of the characters of those who should become guardians of the work of the Review and Herald in publishing the pure literature that the Lord would have go forth to the world in a decided way that will make its impression as to what is truth.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 8

*****

My heart is thankful for all the goodness of God to me, and to express this in thanksgiving and in praise to God is my privilege and duty. We are not required to give sacrifice offerings in slain beasts. The Lord, the infinite loving Father that must honor His laws of justice, requires obedience of all His reasoning creatures.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 9

August 14, 1903

St. Helena, Calif.

Revelation 1:10-16. I have been impressed by figures presented and words of explanation given how much is given us of greatest importance to us for the present, and which reaches from time into eternity.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 10

August 15, 1903

St. Helena, Calif.

Many things occupy my mind that are opened before me to take place in the future, and I must not allow my mind to be occupied with so many troublous matters that come to me in our camp-meetings. My mind must be left free and not be occupied with many details of things from many, many minds, and reported so that I cannot always recognize the matter as anything that I have spoken. But I do wish to bear my testimony before the large congregations. I do not wish to turn away my brethren and leave the impression upon their minds that I cannot see them, and for reasons which they cannot understand or appreciate.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 11

If they would ask wisdom from God, and take God at His word, and be converted, then believe and act, continue to be converted, in all humility of mind, then the Lord would draw nigh unto every tried and tempted one. But how can the people who believe these things to be truth be so indifferent and bear so little weight of deep, earnest heart-searching and constant developing of the talents lent them in trust? They are not to be trying to secure a position which is to be recognized and to have everything in accordance with their own ideas, but just to walk in all humility of mind, realizing they are in the companionship of the Great Teacher. They are not, as some are doing, to be continually keeping themselves in the very front, grasping so many responsibilities which they cannot bear. Truth—sacred, eternal, sanctifying truth—which they need to appreciate, is not having its influence upon human hearts and minds because the door of the mind is not opened to receive it.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 12

Seek the Lord, seek the Lord with all the heart and mind and soul, and others will recognize early enough your connection with God; your knowledge, and your ability, and your talent of influence will be recognized. But keep humble. Leave the faultfinding and set an example of patience and meekness, and show you have been learning your lessons of Jesus, learning to wear His yoke.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 13

August 16, 1903

St. Helena

I am unable to sleep in the early morning hours. I awake at one or two o’clock and commune with Christ my Saviour; and although I have many things that make my heart sad, yet I will look to Jesus who came to our world to pass through the experience of humanity. For our sakes He became poor, that we through His poverty might be made rich. He humbled Himself and so we are to humble ourselves. We are not to show anything like parade because Christ has given us an example in His life. He was the Majesty of heaven, the King of glory, and yet He humbled Himself. Christ could have come with ten thousand of His heavenly angels, but He did not come in that way because He was to be our example in all things. He comes as the Great Example of all missionary work.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 14

Wednesday, August 19, 1903

Healdsburg, Calif.

I could not sleep after one o’clock a.m. I arose and prepared my things, packing them to put in the carriage to take us to Healdsburg. We left the house after five o’clock. It was quite cool, very comfortable riding. Sister Sara McEnterfer, Clarence Crisler, and I composed our company. We did not breakfast until we were within twelve miles of Healdsburg, about eight o’clock. We took our lunch and fed the horses in a very pleasant spot. We ate our simple food with a keen relish. I enjoyed the journey. Rested one hour and a half, then journeyed on.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 15

I am up in the fourth story in a very good room. Have been resting. I hope to be able to see Brother A. T. Jones in the morning. I am greatly burdened for him. His spiritual eyesight is not clear but greatly confused. What will be the sure outcome in his persisting in having his own way?18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 16

August 20, 1903

Healdsburg, Calif.

I slept until two o’clock then arose and prepared to look over my writings. Had an interview with Brother Cady. He will carry on the school as he has done. I spoke to the few students here at half-past eight o’clock. I made some statements in warning in regard to sending the students to Battle Creek to finish their education. Clarence Crisler reported me.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 17

At eleven o’clock had an interview with Elder A. T. Jones. We talked in regard to the situation in Battle Creek and what could be done to help the matters there. This conversation Clarence reported, so it should not be said Sister White said this and Sister White said that. I received a very interesting letter from Elder Daniells from Washington, D.C. Brother Henry Kellogg was on the ground on his way to Florida. He is a good judge of the situation of land and its value. Several others were having their opportunity to pass judgment upon the location, and all considered the place for the office excellent in every respect and the price favorable for such a location. Elder Daniells speaks of great peace and comfort and assurance in the location. Just the water advantages, he says, are of more value than the land. These letters do us much good. Some of the families are now on the ground for settlement.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 18

The Lord must be our continual dependence. Whenever I open the Scriptures my mind fastens upon some passages that seem to intercept [?] to my mind many things.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 19

August 21

Healdsburg, Calif.

I thank the Lord this morning that I am resting. I have a sense of much weariness. Lay down near evening. Slept soundly for a couple of hours. Sara found it difficult to awaken me to prepare for retirement for the night. Slept through the night until nearly four o’clock. For several nights could not sleep after two o’clock, and my mind was troubled and much worried on the matter of adjusting the question of complying with the educational law, that special studies in language and some other educational business lines would have to come into our educational program.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 20

Oh, may the Lord let His Holy Spirit rest upon us that we may know that every step we take is ordered by the Lord. We cannot afford to make one mistake. Satan will take advantage of every jot and tittle. We must move in accordance with the will of the world in our preparations and plans for carrying forward school work, that no mistake shall be made. We have a deep sense of the work that is to be done to fit us for the courts above. We want truth and righteousness to prevail, and we greatly desire that every action we take shall bear the approval of our heavenly Father.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 21

Sabbath, August 22

Healdsburg, Calif.

This is the Sabbath of the Lord, and I thank the Lord for all His goodness and mercy to me. I have slept until two o’clock, and I arose and prayed to the Lord to graciously preserve to me my eyesight. I wish to prepare much matter for publication.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 22

I wearied myself yesterday visiting and conversing with Elder A. T. Jones and with several others. Brother Cady had much to say in regard to his proper position in the school and in his traveling from place to place. These things worry me. I greatly desire to see things connected with the school moving decidedly in upward tendencies with all dignity and nobility and giving character to the work. But my soul now sees new need, great need, of wisdom that is pure, peaceable, and easy to be entreated.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 23

I am unable to do anything without the Holy Spirit’s guidance. If Christ be formed within, the hope of glory, then the works will testify to the truth. What precious revelation I have of my Saviour in the night season! Many, many nights I am permitted to have arrayed before me the precious things the Lord has for His people if they will only do His will and not set up their own will against the will of the Lord. But what a great grief it is to the ministering angels appointed to minister unto those who shall be heirs of salvation when they once and again repeatedly refuse to be led, instructed, and sanctified.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 24

We need every one to walk prayerfully and very humbly with God, realizing our own human weakness, and that we cannot be depended upon to represent Christ in character unless we are watchful against entering into evil. The least advantage should not be given the enemy, for he will exercise his power over you to do things that weaken your moral power and then discourage you, and under that temptation of discouragement you will criticize others. That is the very work Satan took up in his own case. In the place of repenting, he began accusing the heavenly angels, when the origin of all the evil was in himself.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 25

Let everyone now come to a decision to end this work of faultfinding and accusing today. With your eyes looking unto Jesus, behold His wounds and let His blood be applied to every guilty conscience and cleanse away the pollution of selfishness. Yield up the whole heart to God and seek for the forgiveness of your own sins. Seek sanctification through the belief of the truth. Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh unto you, and you will feel the constraining influence of His Holy Spirit. Wrap your soul up in God. Then you will have a conformity to His likeness and with an intense desire thirst and pant after holiness. Let not one any longer grieve the Holy Spirit of God. You need to admire the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave His precious life to redeem you that you should not perish but have eternal life. Shall we not individually seek now a deeper sanctification through that precious blood of God’s dear Son? Shall we not be determined to honor God and do His commandments? Only consider that the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all; but it rests with the individual whether he will give up his sins and become a vessel unto honor for the Lord Jesus. Your will must be in every case submitted unto God.18LtMs, Ms 175, 1903, par. 26

Ms 174, 1903

Ms 176, 1903