How to Avoid Useless Strife

Often difficulties spring up from a simple misunderstanding, and without courtesy and self-control serious results may follow. The ten tribes decided to act promptly and earnestly; but instead of courteously asking about the facts in the case, they met their brethren with scolding and condemnation. If the people of Gad and Reuben had responded in the same spirit, war would have been the result. It is important not to be careless in dealing with sin, but it is equally important to stay away from harsh judgment and groundless suspicion.BOE 259.8

No one was ever rescued from a wrong position by scolding and blame, but these things have driven many further from the right path to harden their hearts against conviction. A self-controlled, courteous approach may save the ones who have made a mistake.BOE 259.9

While honestly seeking to promote the cause of true religion, the Reubenites were misjudged and severely reprimanded; yet they listened with courtesy and patience to the accusations before attempting to make their defense, and then fully explained their motives and showed their innocence.BOE 260.1

Even under false accusation, those in the right can afford to be calm and considerate. God knows the truth about everything that people misunderstand and misinterpret, and we can safely leave our case in His hands. He will defend the cause of those who put their trust in Him.BOE 260.2

Just before His crucifixion, Christ prayed that His disciples might be one as He is one with the Father, that the world might believe that God had sent Him. This touching prayer reaches down the ages, even to our day. While we are not to sacrifice one principle of truth, it should be our constant aim to reach this state of unity. Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35).BOE 260.3