Jacob’s Love for Rachel

In early times, custom required the bridegroom, before the marriage engagement, to pay a sum of money or its equivalent in other property, according to his financial circumstances, to the father of his wife. This was regarded as a security for the marriage. Fathers did not think it safe to trust the happiness of their daughters to men who had not made provision for the support of a family. If they did not have sufficient thrift and energy to manage business and acquire cattle or lands, it was feared that their life would prove worthless. But provision was made to test those who had nothing to pay for a wife—they were permitted to work for the father whose daughter they loved. The length of time was regulated by the value of the dowry required. When the man was faithful and proved worthy, he obtained the daughter as his wife.BOE 86.4

Generally the dowry that the father received was given to the daughter at her marriage. In the case of both Rachel and Leah, however, Laban selfishly kept the dowry that should have been given them. They referred to this when they said, just before they left Mesopotamia, “He has sold us, and also completely consumed our money.”BOE 86.5

Requiring the suitor to render service to secure his bride prevented a hasty marriage. There was opportunity to test the depth of his affections as well as his ability to provide for a family. In our time it is often the case that persons have little opportunity before marriage to become acquainted with each other’s habits and disposition. They are practically strangers when they unite their lives at the altar. Many find, too late, that they are not adapted to each other, and lifelong misery is the result. Often the wife and children suffer from the laziness or vices of the husband and father. If the character of the suitor had been tested before marriage according to the ancient custom, great unhappiness might have been prevented.BOE 86.6

Jacob gave seven years of faithful service for Rachel, and the years that he served “seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.” But selfish Laban practiced a cruel deception in substituting Leah for Rachel. The fact that Leah herself cooperated in the cheat caused Jacob to feel that he could not love her. Angrily he rebuked Laban, who then offered him Rachel for another seven years’ service. But Laban insisted that Leah should not be discarded. This placed Jacob in a most painful and trying position, but he finally agreed; he would keep Leah and marry Rachel. Rachel was always the one he loved best, but his life was made bitter by the rivalry between the sister-wives.BOE 87.1

For twenty years Jacob stayed in Mesopotamia working for Laban, who was determined to keep for himself all the benefits of their connection. He demanded fourteen years of toil for his two daughters, and during the remaining period Jacob’s wages were changed ten times.BOE 87.2

Yet Jacob’s service was diligent and faithful. During some parts of the year it was necessary for him to be constantly with the flocks in the fields, to guard them in the dry season against perishing from thirst, and during the coldest months from becoming chilled with heavy night frosts. Jacob was the chief shepherd; the servants in his employ were the undershepherds. If any of the sheep were missing, the chief shepherd suffered the loss, and he called the servants to a strict account if the flock was not flourishing.BOE 87.3