Sept. 7, 1888. I was completely prostrated with sickness. The time had arrived for our California camp-meeting which was to be held in Oakland, but there seemed little probability that I should be able to attend the meeting. While the workers meeting was in session, it was a question with me and my friends who attended me, whether I should ever rise from my severe attack of sickness. I felt no desire to recover. I had no power even to pray, and no desire to live. Rest, only rest, was my desire, quiet and rest. As I lay for two weeks in nervous prostration, I had hope that no one would beseech the throne of grace in my behalf. When the crises came, it was the impression that I would die, and this was my thought. But it was not the will of my heavenly Father. My work was not yet done. Word came from Oakland that a special season of prayer was held in my behalf in order to plead that the Lord would raise me up and give me strength to attend the meeting. I had been confined to my bed for two weeks. The members of the household could not see any decided improvement, and they said there was no hope of my recovery unless the Lord would work in my behalf. But they decided that if I would consent to go to Oakland from my sick bed, the Lord would renew my strength. In answer to their solicitations, I was taken to the cars Sept. 21, and a bed was made upon the seats, and I was strengthened to endure the journey. To walk out by faith against all appearances, was the very thing that the Lord required me to do.1888 47.1

I found a retired home in the Oakland Mission. Bro. and Sister McClure were attentive to my every want. I was not made strong at once, but the Lord gave me strength and grace to be upon the camp-ground a part of the time, and to bear my testimony before the people. The burden of the work was rolled upon me, and although unable to sit up much of the time, I labored in public, and with individuals. I felt great burden of soul for certain cases, especially for some in the ministry whose condition had been presented before me, and I knew that they were unfitted to minister to the flock of God, until they were transformed by the divine grace and power of God. The truth preached to others was not permitted to sanctify their own souls. Their changeable, unconsecrated life was a stumbling block to many, and they were like guide posts pointing the wrong way, and directing souls on the road to death. How I longed to have the spirit of God do a work in that meeting which God alone could do, that souls who were blinded by the enemy, walking in the sparks of their own kindling, might realize their condition and be saved. In the fear of God, I had counseled, warned, entreated and reproved when under the influence of the Spirit of God, but the testimony had been unheeded.1888 48.1

After two years in Mission fields in Europe, when again on American soil, I had constant anxiety, for the Lord laid burdens upon me for individual cases, who were in blindness and in transgression of the law of God. When reproof came to correct evils in those who were not following of God, in many cases, they refused to be corrected. The spirit of opposition to the testimony would arise, and some one would say, “Some one is influencing Sister White: some one has been telling her about my case.” The brethren did not seem to see beyond the instrument. Unbelief and resistance to reproof prevailed everywhere. Such gross blindness, such a want of recognition as to where the spirit of the Lord was working, I had never before witnessed in so marked a manner among our own people. I had been instructed in regard to many evils that had been coming in among us while I was in Europe, and had written what was the mind of the Lord in reference to them. I had also been told that the testimony God had given me would not be received, because the hearts of those who had been reproved were not in such a state of humility that they could be corrected and receive reproof. Satan had been at work east of the Rocky Mountains as well as west, to make of none effect the messages of reproof and warning, as well as the lessons of Christ, and the messages of consolation. The evil one was determined to cut off the light which God had for his people, that every man might walk in his own light and follow his own judgment, and no voice be heard, saying, “Why do ye so?” A strong, firm, resistance was manifested by many against anything that should interfere with their own personal ideas, their own course of action. This laid upon me the heaviest burdens I could possibly bear. But although the enemy had power over the minds of our brethren and sisters, to make of none effect my labors, still my work did not change. I was not released at all from my responsibilities.1888 48.2

Messages came to me from the Lord. “Speak according to all the words which I shall give thee, in warnings, in reproof, in correction, not only to those that are taught, but to those who are teachers of the word.” The first work is to be done for the shepherds of the flock, that they may be warned not to teach their own words instead of God's words, as did the Scribes and Pharisees.1888 50.1

[This paragraph was inadvertently missed in the print edition.] <Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” [John 3:3.] His words were designed to be understood. It is not more learning that is essential, but life—the bringing into active operation the knowledge and ability you already have. This is no new lesson I present to you, but an old lesson. You need a new heart, and when that change shall take place, when the transforming grace is brought into active operation, all things will become new. It is not necessary that I enter into a discussion upon the evidences of Christianity. This would please your present state of mind—a sharp discussion; but what you need now is to see the necessity of life and its Source. The great want is in your own soul. Then you are on a solid Rock and are prepared in the Spirit of Christ to give the reason for your faith with meekness and with fear.>1888 50.2

The ministry must be elevated; the men in sacred office must be devoted and God fearing. One reckless man, irreverent, careless in speech, <theatrical in attitude,> unconsecrated in spirit, will, through his influence, mould others to do as he does, to act as he acts, and meet the same low standard which he has erected for himself in the place of meeting God's standard. Says Christ, “I know my sheep, and my sheep hear my voice.” Again he says, “I am known of mine.”1888 50.3

We must have a converted ministry, and then the truth will be exalted because it is taught in the life and woven into the character. The truth is to become a living, active principle in converting the soul.1888 50.4

I was alarmed at the state of things [which] now existed, for I knew from the light which the Lord had been pleased to give me, not many were standing in a position before God where they could discern their own soul needs and be a help and a blessing to the church. They professedly believed the truth, but they were far from being sanctified through the truth. Some had been separating their souls from God, and were spiritually blind. Many of our brethren in Fresno had been engrossed in business, purchasing and selling real estate, and investing in, and selling shares in mines. This had been a snare to the <church, both laymen and ministers> and was eating out of their hearts the interest in and love for the truth. Speculation swept in a large number of our brethren while the excitement lasted and was becoming a common thing. The practices and customs of worldlings, the feverish ambition, the exciting, absorbing, interest in speculation, was mixed and mingled with the sacred work of the minister. Men carrying credentials from the conference were engaged in such enterprises God could not bless any such worldly ambition. The condition and evidence of our discipleship is self denial and the cross. Unless these are brought into our experience, we cannot know God; we cannot worship him in spirit and in truth and in the beauty of holiness. But those who ought to have stood in the clear light, that they might present the attractions of Christ before the people, <and lift up Jesus before them> as soon as out of the desk, were <earnestly preaching> of buying and selling real estate, and of investing money in mining stock. Their minds absorbed in business affairs could not distinguish between the sacred and the common; discernment was blunted, the deceptive power of the enemy was exercised over their minds.1888 50.5

Plain and decided testimonies were given me of God to bear to the Fresno church, some of whom we knew were under the displeasure of God. A burden was upon my soul for certain ones day and night, for I knew that unless the Lord should impress their hearts, and give them a true sense of their danger, that in the strength of Christ, they might break the snare that Satan had woven about them, they were lost to the ministry and to the cause of God, <and would not in their blindness discern where God was working.> Under the influence of God, I had written them many pages imparting the light which God had given me concerning their cases. <How anxiously I watched to see if they [would] bow before God in humility,> but they refused to see the light. The natural heart strove against grace, the reasoning heart of unbelief was saying to the spirit of God, “Go thy way for this time, and when I have a more convenient season, I will call for thee.”1888 51.1

How easy and natural for the heart that is not under the constant control of the Spirit of God to see things in a perverted light, as a result of departing from the word of God, and from the testimonies of his spirit, although they have followed them for years in admonitions, and warnings, entreaties and reproof. A voice had been saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” but self said, “No, I will follow my own judgment. <I want more liberty. I must have my independence.”>1888 52.1

<How I longed to see them come to their senses and> see themselves as sinners, guilty before God and in need of a Saviour, and repent and be converted, or they would in their blindness, turn away from the light sent to them from God, and become completely enveloped in the mazes of unbelief and darkness. Day and night my burden was that the Saviour, rich in mercy and love, would reveal himself to these souls who were in such great danger, although professedly keeping and teaching the law of God, they were guilty before God as a transgressor of that law. The least guilt left upon the conscience, would be to their utter condemnation. By the law is the knowledge of sin, but the law cannot pardon the transgressor; repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ, would write pardon against their names in the books of heaven. I longed for many to have the blessing, the precious blessing, <gold tried in the fire that they might be rich, and> that they might cease to walk in the sparks of their own kindling; but their <ideas> were not in harmony with the spirit of God. <Revelation 3:19, 20.>1888 52.2

The way, the Truth, and the Life, was seeking to make his voice heard, but they refused to hear; they refused to believe. The servants of God were charged with unworthy motives, with prejudice, and with receiving reports that were not true; therefore those who were reproved refused to learn the way. The opinions of finite men, erring like themselves, had greater influence over their minds than the spirit of God that searched the depths of the heart. The Spirit of truth was not their wisdom and their salvation. Because of unbelief, they could not find peace and rest in Jesus, who had invited, “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” They had not kept the way of the Lord, and fear and anxiety brought a burden upon their souls. They had forgotten him who seeth in secret. Their ways were right in their own eyes. The life and the Spirit of God was not leading and controlling them and therefore, they were not being led into all truth, living by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. When I became fully satisfied that nothing I could say or do would have any influence, or make any impression upon the mind, my next course was to select about thirty, and tell the condition of one for whom I labored much to the church. This was a most painful duty to me, but I dared not neglect it. The Lord had opened to me the dangers threatening the people of God, through the influence of one man in particular who was a minister and did not follow the way of the Lord, and I felt called upon to be a faithful steward of the grace of God. The Lord gave me strength to do this painful duty, but this minister did not receive the testimony. He was tempted to leave the ground, but was persuaded not to make so rash a step, as the Lord would not favor any such move. He went to a retired place and sought the Lord, There the Lord in his great goodness and loving kindness drew nigh to him, and he came back to the camp-ground entirely changed in spirit. He declared that the Lord had shown him himself, that he must be a converted man or he would be lost. He was willing to go into the congregation at once and confess his sins, and his backsliding from God. He was advised that this was not wisdom, and would not result in glorifying God, but would give our enemies occasion to cast reflections upon the whole ministry. It is Satan's object to ensnare men who handle sacred things, that he may lead them to do things that will bring the ministry down on a level with common things, so that sinners may be furnished with an excuse for their own impenitence and sin. When the words and the deportment of the minister are not after Christ's example, but are in imitation of the words and ways of the great deceiver, our enemies have occasion to blaspheme. We decided that it would meet the approval of God for a few, thirty or forty, who had heard the testimony given me of God, to be present and hear his acknowledgment of the reproof given, and hear his confession.1888 53.1

The Lord by his spirit, rolled back the cloud which had enveloped some minds, the snare of the enemy was discerned. After nine o'clock at night, a number met in the large tent. I said to my brethren, that I wished to bear my testimony to them at the first of the meeting, for I was too weak to remain till its close. After I had borne my testimony I felt that I could not leave. We humbly sought the Lord, the spirit of supplication came upon me, my faith fastened upon Jesus, the source of our strength, our only hope; confessions were made, and many prayers were offered. The softening, subduing influence of the spirit of God came into the meeting. Hearts were broken, more confessions were made, and this work continued,—seasons of prayer, then of confessions of sin till three o'clock in the morning.1888 54.1

A burden was upon my soul. I knew that the Lord would manifest his power. I was urged by the spirit of God to make strong appeals to my brethren who were to cross the Rocky Mountains to attend the general conference at Minneapolis. I urged them to humble themselves before God, and receive the assurance of his grace, to be baptized with the Holy Ghost, that they might be in a condition to impart light, and strength, and courage to those who should assemble in the conference, and that there might be a union between the east and the west. I knew that there must be a renewal of the grace of Christ; life and power must be infused into the work. <Little did I think, when making these solemn appeals, that a letter had gone forth from one present at that meeting stating things he thought were true but were not true and which preceded us and built up a wall of difficulty, placing men prepared to fight everything those who crossed the Rocky Mountains should introduce. For long years prejudice had existed with those at Battle Creek without cause against the laborers on the Pacific coast and Satan used his influence to have that letter do a work which will prove to the loss of souls. God never prompted that letter. I was shown into the room where the letter was received. I stepped up and read the name distinctly and afterward asked Eld. Butler if Bro. [Healey] did not write to him certain things. He said he did. I asked if he would let me see the letter. I wanted to know what testimony was given to create such a state of things as we met at Minneapolis. He said he burned the letter, but the impress had made an indelible impression on his mind and on the minds of others which are still as if lead in the rock.> At this period of time when the powers of darkness were moved from beneath to take the field, and in wily, crafty movements, to outgeneral the church to which God has committed sacred, holy trusts. Although through the voices and pens of many, the trumpet had given a certain sound, others of the watchmen were asleep, and knew not the time of their visitation.1888 55.1

The Lord had food whereby His servants might <become enlarged> and grow to the full stature of men and women in Christ Jesus. What is the chaff to the full kernels of wheat? How great was my burden in that tent, in my feebleness that night! I know that the Lord was graciously willing to forgive sins and pardon the sinner, and my heart was stirred with an intensity of desire that all upon the camp-ground should see the salvation of the Lord. To this people, God had committed sacred trusts. He had made them repositories of light in regard to his law, and should Christ say of these highly favored, “Ye are both ignorant of the Scriptures and of the honor of God.” Should those who made so high a profession, because of their want of pure and undefiled religion, dishonor the world's Redeemer by their unconsecrated lives? “Ye are my witnesses” saith the Lord. Should the people of God remain in a backslidden state, unconsecrated, unholy in life and in character? How then could Christ say of them, “Ye are the light of the world”, and represent them as a city that is set upon a hill, or a light upon a candlestick, giving light to all that are in the house?1888 55.2

Again and again I have been shown the high attainments which the Lord's people may reach, but many have talked the truth, have preached the truth, while they were not sanctified through the truth. They did not bring the truth into their daily life and weave the principles of the truth into their characters. That they might be moulded and fashioned as clay in the hands of the potter to become vessels of honor, there was needed in those assembled under that tent, a deep heart work, repentance of sin, abandonment of self. This meeting was indeed precious. I was strengthened to labor in that meeting. I heard the confessions of E.P. Daniels and his wife. I heard their earnest supplications to God. I know that the spirit of God was doing its work upon their hearts. I heard them testify that the Lord had given them a blessing such as they had never before received. They declared that they were indeed receiving afresh the converting power of God, and many testimonies of confession, and of victories gained were then made. Could our eyes have been opened, we could have seen Jesus in our midst with his holy angels. Many felt his grace and his presence in rich measure. With hearts broken by the Spirit of God, confessions of sins were made and precious testimonies of faith were given that declared that Jesus had pardoned their sin and spoken peace to their souls. This season marked by so much of the power of God to those present, we could never forget. How thankful I felt that the Lord had given me strength to remain till the close of that meeting. He gave me a spirit of supplication. My faith fastened upon the promises of God, and our prayers were answered, for there was the revealing of his presence, and his power.1888 57.1

A message must be given to our churches to arouse them to seek the Lord, now while he is to be found, to draw nigh unto him that he may draw nigh unto them. <The question is asked, Do you believe that work to be the power of God?> I have had the churches presented before me. Every church in our land is in need of awakening.1888 58.1

The Lord has a special message for his people; precious gems of truth which have been hidden under the rubbish are to be revealed. The Lord would have his people search for truth as for hidden treasure. The shaft must sink deep in the mine of God's word which is rich with precious jewels of undiscovered truth, that needs to be brought out and placed before the people. God's people want, and it is essential that they should have, all that the Lord has for them, as meat in due season, that they may be fed with clean provender, thoroughly winnowed from chaff and everything which will not, and can not be appropriated as spiritual food. God will impart light and blessing to others. We humbled our hearts before God, we prayed earnestly to God, then arose and with weeping, confessions were made of sins. Then again we urged our petitions to God for pardon and forgiveness of sins, and thus the time passed on till three o'clock in the morning. We knew that the sin pardoning Saviour was in our midst. We knew that precious victories were gained. We had sufficient evidence that the Lord was working with power in our midst.1888 58.2

At the camp-meeting Bro. and Sister Daniels drew near to the Lord, and the Lord did indeed draw nigh to them. As by prayer and heart-felt confession, they worked out their own salvation with fear and trembling, the Lord worked in them to will and to do of his good pleasure. The promise seemed to be indeed fulfilled on this occasion, “But unto you that fear my name, shall the Sun of Righteousness arise with healing in his wings.” I knew that Jesus was in our midst. I knew that he gave me sustaining grace to labor in the meeting. From that meeting Bro. Daniels has, through the grace of Christ, labored for the Fresno church with the best results.1888 59.1

The enemy had laid a snare for the Fresno church. Brethren had left the churches where they belonged and where their help was greatly needed to strengthen and encourage the weak churches, and had moved into Fresno, to add their presence and increase the numbers of the church at that place. If they cannot hear the voice of God saying, “What doest thou here Elijah?”, God will speak more plainly. It is not God's plan to have men of the same faith colonize and dwell together. We are living in the last days, and unless God moves the men, this moving mania will prove a snare perhaps to the loss of souls of those who move, as well as to the loss of many souls left discouraged in the small churches. The land boom struck Fresno, and these good brethren in the faith were swept into the land speculation and some invested in mining stock. Speculation crowded out thoughts of eternal things. Unwary souls were beguiled and became infatuated. On the street, around the table, in the social visit, the theme of conversation was the purchasing of lots and mining stock. This, also, was the conversation of ministers whose business it was to work the mines of truth, to find and rescue the precious gems and jewels hidden beneath the rubbish of error. Just such a chapter is found in the history of the old world, when every imagination of man's heart was only evil and that continually. So it was in the city of Sodom. When men who have had great light and great truth, who are to be God's witnesses to a people whose interests are in the world, become full of a feverish anxiety to buy and sell and get gain, Satan looks on with triumph. These men permit the alluring pictures of the world to captivate their senses; the alluring temptation with which Satan tempted Christ, overcomes them and the example of Christ in resisting temptation fades from the memory. They permit themselves to be drawn into the current which is sweeping man downward, and when Satan sees his plans work so well, he invents scheme after scheme, that the Lord's money may be diverted into channels where the cause of God will get none of it. Satan tells the speculator that if he will engage in this land scheme, he can make means to help the cause of God, and he presents illusions that fascinates the senses and thousands of dollars are bound away from the cause of God, and the example of Christ is not followed. Unwary souls are beguiled by representations that will never be realized. All who engage in enterprises of this order, fail to give a worthy, Christ-like example to the world as Seventh-day Adventists. Satan designed to cut off the influence of the men who by precept and example, should have borne a clear, unselfish, uncorrupted testimony against all such schemes of the enemy. Against such Satanic schemes, there is no safeguard but one—the truth as it is in Jesus, planted in the heart by his spirit, and nurtured by his grace. Our piety, Bible integrity, our religion, will degenerate into commonness and earthiness before the world, before the God whom we profess to love and serve, if we do not keep a living connection with Christ. We claim to be the repositories of sacred truth, to be looking for the glorious appearing of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.1888 59.2

How does the Lord of heaven look upon those to whom he has committed truth to be proclaimed to the world, which is to prove to them a savor of life unto life or of death unto death when they are untrue to their trust? Those who engage in speculation cannot keep the commandments of God in sincerity and in truth. The sacredness of the truth is marred by selfish interests, and in the judgment it will be seen that the words of reproof and warning, spoken by the minister who engaged in worldly schemes, pleased the people, but did not convict and convert them, for did they not see the same world-loving spirit in him who claimed to believe we are having the last message of warning to be given to the world that the last message of warning was going to the world, as in themselves. They said, “If he believes what he teaches, would he do as he is doing?”1888 61.1

We knew that work had to be done for the Fresno church before they could see the impression they were making on the public mind. They were building walls that would make the truth of none effect to those to whom it should be presented. I was praying earnestly when Elder Daniels was laboring in Fresno that the Lord would work through his servant to his own name's glory. If the Lord has laid on Elder Daniels a work to do for the church, <then> those for whom he labored, <were> not [to] look to the instrument, but to God who works through him. The Lord sent Gideon to do a special work, and he said to Gideon, “Go in this thy might.” He directed Gideon to the strength that was back of his own strength, as if he said to Gideon, I have chosen thee to do an errand for me, in this I have regarded thee graciously, and let this be encouragement, because thou hast found grace in the eyes of the Lord. Go in thy strength and conquer. We were glad that the fruits of the work in Fresno bore evidence that God was dealing with human minds. The Lord wrought upon hearts. Humble confessions were made and the work of restitution that was done, bore witness to the genuineness of the work. It may be that some did not bring forth the fruits of thorough repentance. There was some close, testing work to be done if the plough share of truth went deep enough to break up the fallow ground of the heart. The testimony of many, was, “I have never seen it on this wise before.” The evidence was of a character that no one could doubt but that the work was of God. Confessions of sins were made, and like Zacchaeus, souls were impressed to say, “If I have taken aught from any man, I will restore him four fold.” This work of making things right as far as human power could, was in the order of God.1888 62.1

It is not agreeable to the human heart to do right. The spirit is in warfare against the flesh, but restitution will be made if the work goes forward as God shall direct. The work of true repentance goes deeper than the surface, and we discern and acknowledge the wisdom and power of God in this manifestation. As the work progressed, that faith which works by love and purifies the soul, yielded its precious harvest of fruit. The language of the church in Fresno was, “Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God, that we might know the things which are freely given to us of God, which things also we speak not in the words which man teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.” We praise the Lord with heart and pen and voice for this good work which has been wrought in Fresno. What a powerful, gracious, and effectual call this has been to Fresno. <But did Elder Daniels originate that work? No. The work was of God, and man should receive no glory.> Precious Redeemer, thy grace was not given because of any man's merit nor as the result of any man's worth or righteousness, but the righteousness of Christ. The Sin-pardoning Saviour was holding forth the golden scepter of his matchless grace and mercy to wayward sinful souls. We hope and pray that the good work may continue <in that church.> When Matthew was called to follow the Lord, he dropped his former occupation as a publican, and engaged in the service of the Master. He invited Jesus to his home. No sooner did Jesus open the heart of Matthew, than he opened his house as a home for Jesus. Let the same proofs of the good work of God be manifested in the same way by our brethren in Fresno. Take Jesus home to your hearts, to your houses, and present him to your neighbors. Let your families, your children, see the sweet grace of Christ at work in your hearts, and exemplified in your characters. Let the efficacy of the blood of Christ avail in your behalf, and his righteousness become your righteousness. Let a living testimony be borne from every church member, “Oh come hither, and hearken, all ye that love the Lord, and I will tell thee what he hath done for my soul.” The simplicity of the religion of Jesus is to be revealed to the world. Christ must be all and in all, fully satisfying every want of the soul. Let not your minds be entangled in worldly schemes, but dig deep in the mines of God's word for the precious gems of truth which are there. Christ will qualify you to be partakers of his grace. You may improve the talents he has entrusted to you. You are to go forth with weeping to sow the precious grains of truth, for doubtless, you will return again with rejoicing bringing your sheaves with you. But in behalf of Christ, I warn you to flatter no man. It is Satan's plan to flatter the pride of our natures, and we are in danger of shutting out Christ, his blood, his righteousness, and placing man where Jesus Christ should be. This is our constant danger. Let Christ be lifted up before the people, acknowledge his power, revealed through the instrument in doing a good work, but let all the glory be given back to God. Grace always humbles the receiver. It never exalts man. The grace of Christ is to be recognized and exalted; but sinful man never. Rejoice with trembling, nevertheless, rejoice.1888 63.1

Be Ye Perfect

Chapter 5—To Mary White