Chapter 120—To S. N. Haskell

H-16g-1892

Preston, Melbourne, Victoria, May 29, 1892.

Elder Haskell:—

I have had a season of prayer, in my behalf, Bro. Tenny and wife, Eld. Daniells and wife, Bro. Stockton and Bro. Smyth, we had indeed a most precious season. We were all blessed. We felt that Jesus was in our midst. I did believe the Lord would restore me. That night I slept little, the next day arms and shoulders relieved, walked better, but not restored. The two last days have been days of pain, and suffering. But I am sustained by the grace of Christ. How thankful I should be and I am indeed that I am a child of God. I do not doubt this, I have seen those who had no hope in God, no faith in His word, when thus afflicted, cursing and swearing and my heart is constantly praising the Lord, because I can look to Him, as One able to help me. One who loves me, who will restore me, in His own good time. Will I trust myself in His hands? I will, He has been very nigh unto me, the last five months of trial. He does not willingly afflict or grieve His children of men.1888 987.1

The long strain, coming upon me as it did since the Minneapolis meeting, had no let up. My work was made tenfold harder by the course pursued by those who ought to have stood by me. My prayer to the Lord is—“Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.” The difficulty with me is prostration of the nerves, neuralgia of the nerves. I am waiting God's time. I question not His promises. He will do the work of restoration for His word is pledged. I am not disappointed that the work was not done immediately.1888 987.2

What hinders I am not able to see, but I have not lost my faith or my courage. The Lord is good, and greatly to be praised. My voice shall yet be heard in the congregation of the saints.1888 987.3

I have a testimony to bear for the people of God, and He will heal me to bear it.1888 988.1

You speak of a board meeting held in Battle Creek. You speak of Brother Henry's position. When our brethren keep on the board, men whose hearts are as hard as stone, men who have not hearts of flesh, what can you expect? How can these men know what those sacrificed in the building up of the work. They have no spirit of sacrifice themselves, and how can they understand the experience of those who dressed cheaply, and who denied self, who placed themselves in any position that the cause of God might prosper. They know nothing of this, it is Greek to them.1888 988.2

But Elder Haskell, as for myself, I want no favors from any of them. I simply have asked that they deal not with me in worldly transactions as sharpers. After we have invested our means and our lives in the advancement of the cause of God, these men who have entered into our labors should have some intuition, show some spirit of discernment to respect and treat courteously those who have in the hands of God been used as His instruments to carry upward and forward the work to standing where they become connected with it.1888 988.3

But what can you expect of men who have no depth of religious experience? I want these men to do as God would have, for their souls sake to others, leaving me entirely out of the question. Spiritual things are spiritually discerned. If men are not self-denying, self-sacrificing, if their hearts are not touched with human sympathy or divine sympathy, what can you expect of them. I want these men to have the mind of Christ to act with all that tenderness and consideration for me in my widowhood that should have been given me. They have treated me as a stranger. True they have allowed me to be in debt to their publishing house, and have not pressed me for the means, but have we not invested means above thirty thousand dollars in this cause? It is God's cause, it is God's work, and not theirs. They do not know how to handle God's work. They do not know how much it has cost my husband, and myself to stand at our post of duty when things went hard. We have suffered anger, we have suffered for suitable clothing, but we would not allow the work to stop. Now men are placed in responsible positions who knew not Joseph. Straight testimonies have been borne to head off their ambitious projects again and again, it has hurt their pride. They have but little faith in me or the messages the Lord has given me. It would not take a very strong movement to have a state of things created as in the days of old, and Korah, Dathan, and Abiram would come to the point.1888 988.4

I do not want to be left the least dependent upon these men. What care they for my feelings or my prosperity?1888 989.1

How long this state of things will exist I know not, but the Lord has permitted affliction to come upon me. It may be to test these very ones to reveal what is in their hearts, and how much tenderness and respect would be shown for those who have led out as God's instrumentalities in the work, I only have feelings of sincere pity for these souls handling sacred things, who know not God's ways and do not God's will.1888 989.2

Now Elder Haskell, I say over and over again, let me not fall into the hands of men, but into the hands of the good and merciful God who is too wise to err and too good to do us harm.”1888 989.3

The Lord will bring me up from the oppressive power. The blessed Lord will give me the victory, I shall triumph in His name. But I cannot express to you how sorry I am for the actors. I cannot tell you all that came out of the matter. I do not know it all, but I do know that there will be some surprised men not long hence. God lives. God reigns, and His will and His purposes will be carried out. Men are certainly in the wrong place, making decisions frequently from their own human stand-point, and acting as businessmen without the spirit of wisdom from above to work with them.1888 989.4

Well, let us seek the Lord, let us walk softly before Him, let us have faith in His promises and make straight paths for our feet, lest the lame be thrust out of the way. I am God's property, bought with His own precious blood, and He will not suffer me to be tried in the furnace and consumed. I shall be patient and come forth as gold tried in the fire.1888 990.1

You can read this to Eld Olsen [and] to Harmon Lindsay if you think best.1888 990.2

Ellen G. White.