Diary — October 1889
Battle Creek, Mich., [October 16], 1889
We left Oakland [Thursday], October 10. We had a car all to ourselves, and there were thirty-two who composed our company. We came through without accident or harm. We were blessed of the Lord with good weather and pleasant company. W. C. White and his two children, Ella May White and Mabel White, their grandmother—Sister Kelsey—and their cousin Rheba Kelsey, left us for Colorado Sunday at five o'clock a.m. We arrived at Battle Creek Tuesday, October 15, 1889. I had taken a cold and had not much rest because of a diseased tooth.1888 452.1
Battle Creek, Mich., October 17, 1889
W. C. White arrived from Colorado. Sister McOmber and Sister McDearman came with him. We were happy to meet these dear ones again and felt sad that Mary could not be with them.1888 452.2
Battle Creek, October 18, 1889
There are many coming in to the conference. The meetings have opened well and we hope and pray that the dear Saviour will be our guest. Yes, the Master of assemblies, our Counsellor, our front guard and our rereward. We long to see the deep movings of the Spirit of God in our midst.1888 452.3
Battle Creek, Mich., Sabbath, October 19, 1889
It is the holy Sabbath, and we greatly desire it shall be a most precious day to our souls. We know that the Lord is gracious, and of tender pity for our weaknesses. If not, we might despair, but we have reason for constant gratitude, encouragement, and hope, because Jesus has given His precious life for us that we might have His grace, His power and divine strength. It is not His pleasure that we should go forward in weakness and in inefficiency, when heaven is full of blessings for us. This thought should awaken in us gratitude and thanksgiving and praise that Christ is the center in heaven, the Lamb in the midst of the throne.1888 452.4
With Christ in view can Christians doubt? Christ is the center of the church on earth, seen and acknowledged by faith. Shall we cherish doubts? Shall we, by our unbelief, dishonor God, who has done everything for us? God forbid. Jesus is very precious to my soul.1888 453.1
“I beseech you,” says Paul, “that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.” “Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bonds of peace.” Ephesians 4:1, 3. We are amid the perils of the last days, and in this evil time everyone is held responsible by the Holy Spirit for his personal position before the church and the world. It is an individual work that each is required to do to cast himself upon the Lord. The name of Jesus is all powerful. It is accepted of the Father, always. No other name will He honor. It is through faith in His name that we are saved. We are complete in Him. Jesus will not sanction sectarianism or a legal religion, which is so prevalent even among those who claim to believe present truth. Christ and His righteousness is our only hope. Christ is our only hope, and He is everything to us. Self must die. Jesus must be to us all and in all. Let self be put out of sight. Let Jesus abide in our hearts by faith, and we will be strong in His strength.1888 453.2
There was a ministers’ meeting in the morning. I was not present but report says it was an excellent meeting. Elder Farnsworth spoke in the forenoon with much freedom.1888 453.3
The Lord gave me strength and freedom to speak to the large congregation in the afternoon, from John 14:15: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Verse 21: “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself unto him.” Verses 23, 24.1888 453.4
I felt solemn as I looked upon that large congregation and then considered my text. How many really evidenced their love for Jesus by keeping His commandments? Who will indeed war successfully against principalities, against powers, against spiritual wickedness in high places? Who will be among the favored ones? “Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out.” Revelation 3:12. Oh that the Spirit of God may rightly divide the Word of truth to every hearer! Oh, that each soul may inquire, How much of my service has been really the result of close connection with God and communion with Him in heavenly places? Is my testimony and teaching like that of the beloved John, the outflow of a heart deeply impressed by what I have heard and seen with my eyes, and looked upon and handled of the Word of life?1888 454.1
Battle Creek, October 20, 1889
I attended ministers’ meeting. The Spirit of the Lord was in our midst. Several bore testimony of the blessings received during the past year, of the blessed light they had received and cherished, which was justification through faith. They were delivered from bondage and had realized the rich blessing of God in their labor. They had clearer and more distinct views of the love of Jesus, and their hearts were made joyful in God.1888 454.2
Oh, how precious are these testimonies! It was a feast to my soul to hear my brethren recount the mercies of God, and the advancement which they had made during the past year. This must be a great encouragement to all who love God and keep His commandments. I had a testimony of thanksgiving to God to present to those assembled, for His wonderful preserving care, His protecting care over me in all my journeyings, and His matchless love that I had felt in my heart.1888 454.3
I attended the eight o'clock meeting, where the subject was discussed of having a ministerial institute, to continue six months. Elder Olsen spoke. Professor Prescott spoke upon the subject, laying out the matter in clear lines. E. J. Waggoner spoke with clearness. W. C. White spoke upon the necessity of laborers being sent to all lands, and illustrated on the map the work done in California, and the territory to be worked and the advancement made the past year over the previous year. Brother Loughborough spoke on this point. I bore testimony to the necessity of special institutes for the education of ministers that they might work intelligently and with courage in the service of God. Elder Kilgore read a lengthy communication in regard to the color line in the South and how to conduct the work there.1888 455.1
Battle Creek, October 21, 1889
I attended early morning ministers’ meeting in the Tabernacle. Some important things were said. I had a testimony to bear in regard to our having a living connection with God. In order to have our work effective, we must be daily learning in the school of Christ, the lessons of meekness and lowliness of heart, and as we draw nigh to God His word is fulfilled—He will draw nigh unto us. He will bless us, He will impart to us His grace and His power to work with our efforts. We feel that our morning meetings are precious and none should allow themselves to be deterred from attending them.1888 455.2
I have had an interview October 21 with Elder Goodrich. We talked over some things that transpired at Minneapolis General Conference. I related some things which there took place that resulted in some taking a position to close the door to light, precious light, and from that time they have not walked in the light. I think our conversation was profitable. The committee on nominations visited me, to ask advice and counsel in regard to the men to be appointed as committee members the coming conference year. We had some profitable talk. Elder Olsen and W. C. White came in and there was a profitable interview.1888 455.3
Battle Creek, October 22, 1889
Attended morning meeting. Excellent testimonies were borne. All who spoke made especial reference to the past year—that they had felt much more of the presence of God during the year past than they had ever done before.1888 456.1
Attended morning ministers’ meeting. I had some things to say upon confessing. The promise is, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9. Here is a work for individuals to do, not only to confess their sins but to put them away. Can they do this in their own strength? No, but this work of crucifixion of self can alone be done through Jesus Christ our Sacrifice for sin. We must come to Jesus in faith and rely upon the merits of the blood of Christ.1888 456.2
I tried to bring before the minds of those assembled the necessity of confession and repentance and believing that the Lord for Christ's sake does pardon our sins that are confessed.1888 456.3
Battle Creek, October 23, 1889
The weather remains good.1888 456.4
I arose at half past three o'clock and devoted some time to seeking the Lord. I wish we all understood the experience of really seeking the Lord. Isaiah tells us when we call He will answer, “Here I am” (Isaiah 58:9). We want to come into personal relation to our strong Helper, for He has said, “Let him take hold of my strength, that he may make peace with me; and he shall make peace with me.” Isaiah 27:5. Then why not come, why not drink of the living fountain of life? Why not be refreshed by partaking of the blessed heavenly waters?1888 456.5
There is more encouragement to us in the least blessing which we receive ourselves than in reading biographical works relating to the faith and experience of noted men of God. The things we ourselves have experienced of the blessings of God through His gracious promises we may hang in memory's halls, and whether rich or poor, learned or illiterate, we may look and may consider these tokens of God's love. Every token of God's care and goodness and mercy should be hung as imperishable mementos in memory's halls. God would have His love, His promises written upon the tablets of the mind. Guard the precious revealings of God that not a letter shall become obliterated or dimmed.1888 457.1
When Israel obtained special victories after leaving Egypt, memorials were preserved of these victories. Moses and Joshua were commanded of God to do this, to build up remembrances. When the Israelites had won a special victory over the Philistines, Samuel set up a commemorative stone and called it Ebenezer, saying, “Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12.1888 457.2
Oh, where, as a people, are our commemorative stones? Where are set up our monumental pillars carved with letters expressing the precious story of what God has done for us in our experience? Can we not, in view of the past, look on new trials and increased perplexities—even afflictions, privations, and bereavements—and not be dismayed, but look upon the past and say, “‘Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.’ I will commit the keeping of my soul unto Him as unto a faithful Creator. He will keep that which I have committed to His trust against that day. ‘As thy days, so shall thy strength be.’”1888 457.3
The covetous man becomes more covetous as he draws near his death. The man who all through his life is accumulating earthly treasure, cannot readily withdraw himself from his accustomed pursuits. Shall not he who is seeking a heavenly treasure become more earnest, more zealous, and more intensely interested in seeking the treasure which is above? Shall he not covet the best and most enduring substance? Shall he not seek the crown of glory that is imperishable, the riches which moth and rust doth not corrupt, nor thieves break through and steal? The more ardent his hopes, the more strenuous are his efforts and the more determined he is not to fail of the immortal treasure, the eternal substance. He has a soul longing for the heavenly riches, an intense desire which will not suffer him to be idle. His business on the earth is to secure eternal riches. He cannot, will not consent, after tasting of the heavenly gifts of God, to be a pauper, left in destitution for eternity. The soul passion is more, more. This is the real want of the soul. We want more of the divine grace, more enlightenment, more faith, more of the heavenly gifts. The longing soul says, I must have more of the heavenly gifts.1888 457.4
Oh, if all the misdirected energies were devoted to the one great object—the rich provisions of the grace of God in this life—What testimonials we could hang in memory's halls, recounting the mercies and favors of God, appropriating His promises registered in His Word for more of the transforming grace of Christ, enabling us to set our affections on things above, not on earthly things! Then the habit would be carried with us as an abiding principle to accumulate spiritual treasures as earnestly and perseveringly as the worldly aspirants labor for the earthly and temporal things.1888 458.1
You may well be dissatisfied with the present supply when the Lord has a heaven of blessedness and a treasure house of good and gracious things to supply the necessities of the soul. Today we want more grace, today we want a renewal of God's love and tokens of His goodness, and He will not withhold these good and heavenly treasures from the true seeker.1888 458.2
The bent of the mind of every individual will show itself. If he feels rich and increased with goods and has need of nothing, he is spiritually bankrupt. Those who feel their spiritual necessities will show their soul eagerness, their ardent desires, which extend upward and onward above every earthly, temporal inducement, to the eternal.1888 459.1
Do not borrow anxiety for the future. It is today that we are in need. It is “while it is called Today,” “if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.” Hebrews 3:13, 15. The Lord is our helper, our God, and our strength in every time of need.1888 459.2
Battle Creek, Mich., October 24, 1889
Attended morning meeting. My heart was drawn out in supplication to God for the power of His grace and the pardon of our transgressions. I thank the Lord for the assurance of His grace, that is for His people now, today.1888 459.3
We are to keep close to the Source of our strength day by day, and when the enemy comes in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a standard for us against the enemy. The promise of God is sure, that strength shall be proportioned to our day. We may be confident for the future only in the strength that is given for the present necessities. The experience in God is daily becoming more precious.1888 459.4
I spoke to the brethren and sisters, seeking to present Jesus, that they might look and live. The promise of God is fulfilled if we educate the thoughts and heart to place entire dependence, day by day, upon Jesus Christ. The promise is not that we will have strength today for a future emergency, that anticipated future trouble will be provided for beforehand, before it comes to us. We may, if we walk by faith, expect strength and provision for us as fast as our circumstances demand it. We live by faith, not by sight. The Lord's arrangement is for us to ask Him for the very things that we need. The grace of tomorrow will not be given today. Men's necessity is God's opportunity. “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” The grace of God is never given to be squandered, to be misapplied or perverted, or to be left to rust with disuse.1888 459.5
Christianity at the present day should not be fainter in luster and feebler in power than in past ages. We must not be void of faith now. There are tremendous responsibilities that the ministers of Jesus Christ must carry if they are conscious of their appointed work—to watch for souls as they that must give an account. Feed the flock of God, and while you are bearing daily responsibilities in the love and fear of God, as obedient children walking in all humility of mind, strength and wisdom from God will be given to meet every trying circumstance.1888 460.1
We will not be able to meet the trials of this time without God. We are not to have the courage and fortitude of martyrs of old until brought into the position they were in. The Lord proportions His grace to meet every emergency. We are to receive daily supplies of grace for each daily emergency. Thus we grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, and if persecution comes upon us, if we must be enclosed in prison walls for the faith of Jesus and the keeping of God's holy law, “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” Should there be a return of persecution there would be grace given to arouse every energy of the soul to show a true heroism. But there is a large amount of nominal Christianity which has not its origin in God, the Source of all power and might. God gives us not power to make us independent and self-sufficient. We must ever make God our only dependence.1888 460.2
We had an excellent meeting. The presence of the Lord was with us. He breathed upon me His Holy Spirit and gave me the spirit of earnest supplication to God that I might be imbued with His Holy Spirit in all my labors, and that my ministering brethren might be endowed with power from on high to carry the solemn message to all parts of the world. I bore a decided testimony to the people assembled, and there were precious testimonies that followed. All related their experience the past year as being of a more spiritual character than they have had before since embracing the truth. The light of justification through faith, and that the righteousness of Christ must become our righteousness, else we cannot possibly keep the law of God, is the testimony of all who speak, and the fruit is peace, courage, joy, and harmony. There is danger of making even these subjects a theory, and not practicing the truth that is expressed. Those who bear this message must carry with them the pure character of Christ Jesus.1888 461.1
Battle Creek, October 25, 1889
I arose at half past three and had a precious season of communing with God. I do claim the rich promises of God given us in His Word. Faith lays hold of the promises. Faith is not feeling. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. We walk by faith and not by sight.1888 461.2
I attended early morning meeting. Notwithstanding we had a shower this morning, there was a good attendance. Again I felt the burden of supplication and the evidence that if we call upon the Lord in faith the promise would be verified, If ye seek the Lord with all your heart He will be found of you. The whole being must be put on the Lord's side, under His control. There must be no reservation of mind, thoughts, or affections. Jesus requires all that there is of us—soul, body, mind, and strength. The Lord blessed me and I felt like praising the Lord. I said a few words in regard to expressing our thanksgiving to God, and many precious testimonies were borne, expressing their thanks for the great mercy and love of God.1888 461.3
This day a fellow laborer was brought in his coffin from Ohio to this place to be buried in Battle Creek. Brother Swift died in Ohio October 23. The delegates, one hundred and thirty-two in number, walked in procession to Oak Hill Cemetery, while fifteen carriages slowly moved on their way, to lay the body in the vault. It was a solemn sight to see this large number with the funeral badges, following their brother, now silent in death in his coffin. Oh, it is a sad thing that one of the earnest, faithful workers will no more be present at our General Conferences, to bear his testimony!1888 462.1
But we are charged, “Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord,” for they will come forth to be united with all the saints when Christ shall call the dead from their graves. Oh, I wish to be converted daily that I shall be a living witness on the earth to the saving grace of Christ! May the Lord bless and fit us to do His will, to live for Christ faithfully, to honor His name, and be a blessing to others while we shall live.1888 462.2
Battle Creek, October 26, 1889
It is the Sabbath and I shall not be required to speak today. Brother Smith will speak in the forenoon, and in the afternoon Brother Farnsworth will give the funeral discourse of Brother Swift. Business in the evening. I have been much pleased to have a day of rest.1888 462.3
I had conversation with Elder Olsen in regard to the best plans for managing the religious interests of the meeting. Conversed with E. J. Waggoner's wife in regard to the management of Christmas for the best good of the youth. Conversed with Elder Starr upon the same subject.1888 463.1
Battle Creek, Mich., Sunday, October 27, 1889
Did not attend morning meeting. I learned that they had a good meeting. I devoted my time to writing.1888 463.2
Attended the eight o'clock meeting. Elder Jones presented the Bible evidence of justification by faith. A large number attended the Bible study. I had some words to speak to the people assembled before the meeting closed, in regard to coming to the light and walking in the light lest darkness come upon them.1888 463.3
Some who will gossip over the Bible subject of justification by faith, and cavil and question and throw out their objections, do not know what they are talking about. They do not know that they are placing themselves as bodies of darkness to intercept the bright rays of light which God has determined shall come to His people. And they will come; the third angel's message is to go forth with power, filling the earth with its glory. And what is man that he can work against God? He may choose the darkness, he may love the darkness and be left enshrouded in darkness; but the message is to go forward in power, even if some refuse to advance with it.1888 463.4
The Lord has shown me the light which shines upon our people is no new light, but precious old light that has been lost sight of through the work of Satan to shut it away from God's people. But its rays are shining forth. Let us all realize the great blessing that the Lord has to impart to every soul who will serve Him with his whole heart.1888 463.5
I am charged to keep minds directed constantly to obtaining the higher education. I am impressed to charge our people to understand that Christ has given His most precious life to save a world, if they will be saved through copying the example of Jesus. Christ came to our world to give you a pattern of His life that you may make no mistake.1888 464.1
I had a long talk with Brother Henry upon the work at the Sanitarium. Decided changes are to be made, in practicing the virtues of Christ.1888 464.2
Let none make a mistake as to the character they must positively form in this life. If they live righteously, they will have the evidence day by day that they have [Christ] formed within. They are the Lord's property.1888 464.3
Battle Creek, Mich., October 28, 1889
Attended early morning meeting and engaged with our brethren in earnest prayer to God for His special blessing, which it is our privilege to have daily. I then spoke with great plainness in reference to some who were attending the meeting but had given no evidence they were partakers of the Spirit and power of God in the meeting. They did not seem to discern where God was at work. They seemed to be moving as if blindfolded. They were hearing the testimonies that God was giving to His people, but appeared as unconcerned and unmoved as the careless, impenitent sinners when the truth is brought before them. I called upon some who have been working contrary to God for one year in a marked manner, because special, marked light has been given them and it will be uncommon stubbornness and wilfulness to turn from this precious light God has given. The darkness of every individual will be in proportion to his unbelief and his resistance and contempt of the light which God graciously sends.1888 464.4
I have written to M. K. White and to Sister McCullough. Brother Matteson leaves today for Colorado. Here we scatter personally to different localities, and yet the Lord is accessible to every soul, and we need to appreciate this grand possibility to obtain the higher education. Are we individually responding to light God has given?1888 464.5
I attended the eight o'clock meeting in the side room of the tabernacle, conducted by Elder Jones. There were a large number present and he presented the subject of justification by faith in a plain, distinct manner, in such marked simplicity that no one need to be in darkness, unless he has in him a decided heart of unbelief, to resist the workings of the Spirit of God. Many were fed and others seem to be amazed, as though they did not know what justification by faith really meant. Certainly the lines of truth were laid out in a distinct manner. I was glad to hear this testimony.1888 465.1
I bore testimony that that which I heard was the truth, and those who would walk out upon the light given would be on the Lord's side.1888 465.2
Battle Creek, Mich., October 29, 1889
Attended early morning meeting and my heart was melted by the Spirit of God. I was moved upon to pray most earnestly for our president, Elder Olsen, and Elder Dan Jones, who is his helper, that God would help them to overcome their bodily infirmities, and give them physical strength and mental clearness and spiritual power. I believe that the Lord has rich blessings for these men who have been placed in responsible positions if they will only come into the channel of clear light, and that He will work mightily in their behalf if they will walk intelligently and humbly before Him. But a work is being done that neither of them comprehends fully. I thank God that we have a balm in Gilead and a Physician there who can heal our maladies. We are too much inclined to be influenced by words of men, and not depend wholly upon God and have faith in God. Unless these men will walk with God as did Enoch, they will fall.1888 465.3
I bore my testimony in the meeting while my heart was broken in view of the great goodness of God to me. He has blessed me in a wonderful manner. I praise His holy name, with heart and soul and voice. I presented before all those present the precious opportunities that we now have of confirming our Christian experience by deep, earnest searching of heart, confessing our sins, forsaking them, and opening the door of our heart to Jesus Christ that His grace and love may abide in the heart by living faith, and confirm all our powers to His service, that we may glorify God by showing forth the praises of Him who hath called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. The precious sayings of Christ are not half appreciated. We want that the Holy Spirit shall impress our minds with the same [meaning] our Lord attached to the Old Testament Scriptures. His interpretation of the Word was so distinct, so simple and spiritual, the heart was all aglow as the words were understood.1888 466.1
Battle Creek, Mich., October 30, 1889
Wednesday morning. Attended the early morning meeting. The room was full. I was pleased to see so great interest manifested. I spoke in regard to the necessity of our ministers being fitted up day by day with the baptism of the Holy Ghost, before going forth to their labors. Christ has promised it, why should they not have it? Lay hold by faith.1888 466.2
Many precious testimonies were borne, but yet there is not that fullness of faith that reaches out for a fullness of the blessing of God, as it is our privilege and duty to have. I fear many will go away from this meeting greatly in need of the very blessings that it is their privilege to receive, just now and notwithstanding the most precious light given upon the importance of thorough sanctification through the truth; that they will not walk in the light but be wandering in darkness, because they are not doers of the Word. Truth must be practiced if we increase in knowledge. Then we shall not, when some strong temptation comes, be overcome by the enemy.1888 466.3
We may all gain a deep and rich experience here if we will seek for it with all our hearts, humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God, and letting God—not we ourselves—do the lifting of us up. Christ in the heart is the death blow to all our self-love. Selfishness and covetousness—which is idolatry—lead a man to wish to be his own Savior and to trust proudly in his own human, finite capability and merits for salvation. They will fail him every day if he does this, and be to him eternal loss hereafter. He will be like the blind leading the blind; both will fall into the ditch.1888 467.1
The work of the Holy Spirit on the heart is to break down and expel this self-love, this lofty approval of self and this accusing spirit. The soul temple must be emptied and cleansed from its moral defilement, that Jesus may find room to abide in the soul as an honored Guest, that [He] the pure, true Witness may be the power exercised in a holy life. Then Christ is revealed in the heart by faith and precious victories are gained.1888 467.2
Battle Creek, Mich., October 31, 1889
Thursday morning. Attended the early morning meeting and bore a straight testimony. Invited Brethren Nicola [?] and Morrison to see me. Had a long interview with Brother Strong, whose son was killed in the Review office in a shocking manner by being struck with the elevator. His head was smashed to pieces. His father feels this blow keenly. We need to encourage him all we can. Oh, that God may bless this to his good and he not make it an occasion to use to do him harm.1888 467.3
The interview with Brethren Nicola and Morrison was not pleasant. I see in them that they are in blindness of mind, self-sufficient. They have yet to be converted, to be learning of Christ in His school. They have not opened the windows of the soul heavenward, and have not closed the windows of the soul earthward. Oh, I am convinced that these men have drunk deeply of the murky streams of the valley and have not an appetite for the high, pure waters of Lebanon. When will they see and when will they be instructed?1888 468.1
They do not see that their spirit at Minneapolis was not the spirit of Jesus Christ. They justify their own course in everything. I am sorry to say they are not standing in a position to receive light and to see themselves. They are in darkness still. Faith in Christ alone can destroy selfishness and self idolatry in the human soul. How long will the Lord bear with the perversity of man? How long will He be insulted by his self-sufficiency and rejection of His invitation to receive His call to come to the gospel feast?1888 468.2
I had no satisfaction whatever in this interview. If the flock of God is entrusted to such men, may the Lord pity His poor, poor people, the sheep of His pasture, and enlighten them and save them from being molded by the spirit and influence of these men of dark unbelief.1888 468.3
After they left I felt that there had been a funeral in the house. My heart was as heavy as lead. Oh, what a work of death can individual influence exert upon souls who are starving for the light of life and do not know where to go for the knowledge they should have! The table loaded with the manna of heaven is set before them, but they will not eat it.1888 468.4