Fannie Bolton to E. G. White, circa December 15, 1895.

The letter you wrote me the other day cut me terribly, but I am glad you wrote it; for in heeding every one of its injunctions I have received a great blessing. I showed the letter to brother Caldwell, and he felt as I did about it, that the Lord wanted us to be careful, and so he will not come to my tent for anything, and I am glad to have it thus. When he wants a typewriter he will go to the school, or will write by hand. I shall not see him at all, if that is the Lord’s will, except when I have to in the presence of others. So I hope you will not be longer burdened over this matter.FBS 57.2

There are some things you have mentioned about the case that I feel I have a right to speak about. While at Melbourne at the school and at the Brighton camp meeting and at Brother McCullagh’s, as far as I am concerned I know before God that I was absolutely guiltless of any wrong. I am perfectly astonished that our brethren should have gone to you with complaints, and cannot think of anything that I did that would give them the least occasion for such a course. It seems a strange thing to me that they did not come to me, if they thought I was going wrong. The only occasions when we were together at Melbourne was when we worked together, and you well know that that was not a matter of my choice or ordering. When he was at the school, I was boarding at Bro. Belden’s and at Sister Daniells’ house, and only saw him at such times as were necessary to do the work. At those times we had so much to do, that we had no time for conversation, and as far as I remember, we plowed steadily through the work.FBS 57.3

At the camp meeting, Bro. Caldwell was not on the ground in the evening at all; for he took care of Sr. Daniells’ house, and slept there at night. The only time when we were together at all was when we had to work together. During such times we used to copy at Bro. Starr’s tent, (and they were right there,) or right out of doors before the community at large. We had work that had to be done right away, and had no chance for conversation. While I was at Bro. McCullagh’s, he only copied for me one solitary day, and during that one day we copied over 50 pages. I will leave you to estimate the amount of visiting we did. When I am reading for the typewriter, my mind has to be thoroughly on my work, and I think you can see that there was little time for anything else, and that was a tremendous day’s work. I was right there at brother McCullagh’s house, he professed to be my friend and brother in the Lord, and I must say that I feel deeply wounded that one whom I regarded in this light, should go to you to spread a report about me that I know had not a shadow of truth in it, nor the least appearance of evil at that time. However, I have laid that burden over onto the Lord. I know that He knows all about that. I hope that I will learn from these experiences to be careful what I spread abroad about anybody. Bro. Starr and McCullagh and others have been at my room, and have spent many more hours talking with me alone than has any other gentlemen of my acquaintance, and in the cases I have mentioned, there was no more room for evil reports than there was in the case of these brethren.FBS 57.4

Sunday afternoon a week later. Dear Sister White, I was interrupted at this point and have not had time since to finish this letter. Maud had to leave, as you know, last Wednesday, and as Brother Lacey was not willing to have Nora come I have taken pleasure in filling Maud’s place. The men seem quite satisfied with the food I prepare for them. I do the best I can, and try to arrange the meals as nearly as I can like what appears on your table. The exercise is exactly what I need, and I am feeling stronger every day, and really enjoy the work. I get along most of the time without Willie’s help, and seem to be successful in having meals on time, and the place cleaned up in a hurry. If you are willing, I should like to continue the work until your family arrive on the scene of action. I shall consider the whole business as a bit of vacation and recreation, and this will save you the wages of a girl during the time. It will be a real benefit to me healthwise. A few weeks of this kind of recreation will restore much of my lost nerve tone. I cannot help thinking how silly girls are, who prefer to do some other kind of work than house work. My appetite is good, digestion without a flaw, and I am sleeping like a top at night. I have not had such sleep as I have had the last two nights in years, and get up in the morning feeling something as I did when I was a child.FBS 57.5

I did feel that perhaps I should have to give up the work on account of my poor health and go back to America, but I see that there is still recuperative force in me, and with the proper course, and the dear Lord’s blessing, I shall yet be able to take hold of some of those great things you are desirous of having done.FBS 58.1

I am very sorry I did not entertain Miss Neigh that day; but when I talked with you I did not give you all my reasons for not entertaining her. Still I have repented deeply that I did not do it for Christ’s sake, forgetting what I thought were hindrances to so doing. I was glad to know that she was entertained at your house, and if I had known that she could have gone to your table for dinner, I should have felt more free to have entertained her. I did not have things in proper shape for company, and if I had felt less weary would have been in better condition to have prepared a nice meal. I do not excuse myself however. I am sure the reason that I did not act more like Christ would have acted in this case, was that I did not permit His Spirit to control. Since then I have had two precious seasons of working in His spirit and by His grace for the souls of others. One time was with Minnie and Ethel Hughes, and I feel that if ever the Lord helped me, it was in talking with them of the grace of God that bringeth salvation. The tears filled their eyes, and we resolved to pray for the blessing of God on the family, and on the guest who is now stopping with them. The other occasion was in Mrs. Bevan’s family. We had a precious Bible reading together, and all our hearts were melted with the love of God. Last Sabbath one of the girls wept freely in Sabbath School. Her heart seems very tender. There are many around here who I feel sure would be glad to hear the truth. There were two young ladies at Sabbath School yesterday who have never been there before.FBS 58.2

We have had precious times since you left. Bro. Prescott has been breaking to us the Bread of Life, and we none of us knew before how hungry we were. I praise the Lord for the wonderful light He has sent me through His servants. Yesterday Mrs. Prescott spent the afternoon with me. She is full of the things you have written about the time of the end, and has quite stirred me up to read and study and think more of these things.FBS 58.3

I do not know very much about the farm work. I hear them talking about planting seeds, watering trees, burning logs, etc. but cannot give you any details. No doubt brother Caldwell keeps you posted.FBS 59.1

Now dear, do have patience and longsuffering toward me. I know I worry you; but I am sorry. Please do forgive me, and I will try and do better. The Lord is precious to me. I have peace and quietness, and realize that He has compassed me about with songs of deliverance. But my dear I know I have not attained, neither am perfect. You will often and often have to reprove me with all longsuffering. May the Lord give you grace to be patient with me for His name’s sake. I am one of His poor blundering sheep, but then I do belong to Him; for He is mine and I am His, and I want His will to be done in me to His glory and praise before men and angels. Now I mean to live up to the cautions you have given me. I mean to learn by every mistake of the past. I feel that there is no condemnation between me and God. Being justified by faith I have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. P.S. After supper. We are having indications of rain. The thunder has been rolling. The lightning flashing, and some rain has fallen. I do hope it will rain hard. Love to all, Fannie.FBS 59.2