Fannie Bolton to E. G. White, November 16, 1892

I am still rejoicing in the love that has been revealed to me. The Bible flashes with new light as I read it in the light of righteousness by faith, and through comfort of the Scriptures I have hope. My blindness and ignorance have been amazing concerning the grace and the pardon of God. The mystery I have been in has been the mystery of iniquity and unbelief.…FBS 9.2

I have sadly misrepresented His love, but I cannot afford to keep in mourning when He has as a thick cloud blotted out my transgressions, and it’s not too hard for God to reveal Himself as He is, to those who are seeking Him in spite of my unfaithfulness. These words hurt me, and yet, I determine to forget the things that are behind and press on.FBS 9.3

Now as to the testimonies. It is true that I have always been pleased to write one that was comforting, but have often, I might say always, wished that I need have nothing to do with those that were cutting. I know you have not been sustained by my sympathy in this thankless task. I have often wondered if your words were not unnecessarily sharp, but it is my desire to be wholly conformed to the truth. The probing of the evil heart must be done, or its incurable wound will not be discovered. I shall look at the testimonies in a different light, and give you my hearty sympathy in your disagreeable task, from which I have withdrawn my cooperation. I have often felt glad that I was not called to such a work; but I now will be glad for Christ’s sake to share what little cooperation I can give in helping you. O may God bring me unto perfect unity with His work and with whatever part He would have me to do. Let the reproof come until self shall be cut off. I want to die to self. Self is monstrous, heinous. I see charms in Christlikeness which have been dim to my eyes before. O for a meek and quiet spirit which is of great price. I feel now that I want to be a channel for God’s love to this suffering world. I see opportunities all around for a great work to be done. There are the market people, and the people that gather in the parks, and the sick in all those great hospitals, and the people everywhere in the ships, trains and in their homes, who need the light of God’s truth. And there are so many people who hardly know what to do because they do not see the marvelous love of God in Christ. O that it may be revealed; for it is this everlasting love that draws....FBS 9.4

Knowing that you will forgive me for all my lack of sympathy and appreciation, I still ask your forgiveness. I hope I may be endowed with that spirit of discernment from above that I may not judge after the sight of my eyes or the hearing of my ears, but judge as God would have me. Am glad you are able to work for the poor sheep, Fannie Bolton.FBS 9.5