I. D. Van Horn to E. G. White, Mar. 9, 1893

I. D. Van Horn
Battle Creek, Mich.
March 9, 1893
Mrs. E. G. White
Dear Sister in Christ:

Your letter, written the 20th day of January, 1893, was received by me Tuesday evening, Feb. 21. Now that the Ministers’ Institute and General Conference, in which was manifested the spirit and power of God as I have never witnessed before, is in the past, I will take the earliest opportunity to return an answer to you.MMM 239.1

It gives me much joy to know that you are much improved in health. I shall hope and pray that you may continue to improve till you have power to perform your work without pain. Adelia is also very glad to hear from you. The Lord, in His great mercy, has spared our lives to this time, and we are both enjoying good health. Our children also are all well.MMM 239.2

This communication by your hand to me I heartily accept as a Testimony from the Lord. It reveals to me the sad condition I have been in since the Minneapolis meeting, and this reproof from the Lord is just and true. Since it came I see more than ever before the great sin it is to reject light. And this is made doubly sinful by my own stubborn will holding out so long against the light that has shone so brightly upon me. I did not realize how great was the darkness that enveloped me, and how strongly I was held under Satan’s power, till I received this token of God’s love to me which has opened my eyes.MMM 239.3

I am now heartily ashamed of the part I took in the “merriment,” the “satire,” “sarcasm” and “wit,” that was so much indulged in by myself and others in the same room at that Minneapolis meeting. It was very wrong—all wrong—and must have been displeasing to the Lord who witnessed it all. I wish it all could be blotted from my memory.MMM 239.4

A few days before this Testimony came, I began to see myself far out of the way, as I saw so much of the power of God resting on brethren Jones. Prescott, and Haskell as they unfolded before me the light and glory of the message as it now should go to the world. Knowing that repentance and confession was the only way out of sin and darkness. I took occasion, in a meeting on the Sabbath day, to confess my great wrong at Minneapolis, and the wrong all the way from that time till now. This brought me some light, blessing, and comfort from the Lord. I now believe that He used this means to prepare me to receive this reproof that was soon to come into my hands. I thank the Lord that He showed me so great kindness. Surely His tender mercy is greater to me than I am worthy to receive.MMM 240.1

Three days after this I received the Testimony, and late in the evening I went to my room where all alone I read it—three times over with much weeping, accepting it sentence by sentence as I read. I bowed before the Lord in prayer and confessed it all to Him. He heard my earnest plea, and for bitterness of soul He gave me peace and joy. I could but thank Him for sending me this message for it is a token of His love. “For whom He loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth.”MMM 240.2

The next morning I went into the Ministers’ Meeting and made a more earnest and extended confession of my wrong before my brethren who knew of my course, and it brought great light and blessing into my soul. I am now a free man again, thank the Lord, having found pardon and peace.MMM 240.3

But I begin to see how much I have lost in these four years of darkness and unbelief. I will now make haste and “buy the gold,” the “white raiment,” and the “eyesalve,” that I may stand before my fellow men, not in my own strength with a few set discourses, but with the righteousness of Christ, and the rich provisions of His grace to give them the “meat in due season.” I will arise, and in the fear of the Lord, go forward with the advancing light of the message. I will walk softly before the Lord, and will cherish His presence in my heart, that I may have power from Him, who has all power, to resist Satan, shun his snares, and gain the victory at last.MMM 240.4

The General Conference just closed, much against my wishes, and with an earnest protest, has placed me on the General Conference Committee. It is a mystery to me know they could safely do this, when they know full well the failures I have made in official positions in the past. But I have come to the point in my experience where I know I am nothing, and in my own strength can do nothing. All power is in Christ and with Him dwelling in me and leading me I can do all things to His glory. If the Lord wants me to work for Him in this responsible place, I know that a humble, child-like trust in Him will bring me the strength to take up the duties and perform them in a way that will be pleasing in His sight.MMM 241.1

I shall need counsel and instruction. If you have anything further that would give me more light, showing me more clearly my true condition, I shall be very glad to receive it.MMM 241.2

My oldest boy, Burt, is now 18 years old. He graduates from the Charlotte high school next June. He will go to the college here in Battle Creek next year if all is well. His much inclined to be in the company of the other sex, but we are making all the effort we can to hold him in check. Adelia would be glad to get a letter from you, and if you can send a word of counsel to my boy, it would be a joy to her and to me too.MMM 241.3

With kind regards to your son, WCW, and to you, I remain as ever
Yours in the Blessed Hope, I. D. Van Horn
address Battle Creek, care of R&H.