I was very glad to get your letter of March 16, a day or two since, with the enclosed letters to Dr. Waggoner, A. T. Jones and others. (EGW letter 37, 1887). It did me much good and greatly relieved my mind. I feel very humble this morning, and a great sense of gratitude I trust, for all the goodness of God to me, and anything but a sense of triumph or self-sufficiency. Oh, what a good God we have, and how great is His tender mercy to us poor, weak, sinful creatures. I feel that He shall have all my life-service without any reserve. This world looks exceeding small and unworthy to me, and the promises of God and the glorious inheritance, all over-glorious.MMM 68.1

I am daily seeking Him with all the powers of my soul, as we are in great need of His help at this present juncture, being engaged in the special closing time of the College and as we are trying to help the religious influences in this great drowsy, formal church. It is enough to discourage the heart of most anyone to see how little spiritual life there is among the largest portion of the membership.MMM 68.2

I have been working very hard for months past and feel somewhat the effects of it, so that I know full well the significancy of what you say about your seeking God’s special help to enable you to discharge the duties as they come. I feel often as If I could hardly get through the labors before me. My head gets very weary. But I am bound not to complain or even murmur in my feelings, even against some that cause unnecessary burdens. They do not realize it, perhaps, and know not what their course causes me of labor and anxiety. But I go to the Lord and lay the matter before Him and somehow He helps me from time to time. I praise and love Him for it, my dear Sister. Oh, what precious blessings He has bestowed upon me!MMM 68.3

You know something of my life and character. What a proud, wicked, hardhearted subject I was, to start with—stubborn, unbelieving, impure and sinful in many ways. How wonderfully the Lord has led me all these years, and what struggles I have passed through, and God has mercifully revealed Himself to me, and such views of His love and goodness come over me at times that I am just melted down in tenderness and tears. How precious is the love of Christ! I will serve such a Saviour as long as I live, and I greatly desire more strength with which to do it.MMM 68.4

I see so much to do and if I had more strength it seems to me I could do much more than I do now. Aren’t we going to get more strength to labor one of these days, Sister White? Of course I am pressed in many ways, with perplexity. You warn me not to work so hard, and tell me I must not. And then I see so much to do that demands attention. Then you tell me how hard you work and how you get strength from the Lord to do it—get up in the morning so early, and I am forced to reason—if the Lord will help Sister White in her need, why will He not help me? And so I go on, trusting in the Lord for His help. Well I doubtless make many and great mistakes.MMM 68.5

The copy of the letter you wrote to Dr. W. (aggoner) and A. T. (Jones) afforded me great relief. I have been in great perplexity over this matter. Views were being taught by them which I CANNOT believe to be the truth. If those views were to be sustained, I confess I shall never know what to believe and I think it would close up my ever trying to write anything on doctrine as I should, and could have no confidence in my own judgment, of an argument. It would finish me on that score and even in regard to my knowing the leading of the Spirit, and perfectly unfit me for acting any leading part. It is not a slight matter with me, as I have given it much thought for many years. I took my position after studying the matter carefully for myself. But I said little about it for six or eight years, desiring not to pain the hearts of brethren who thought differently. But as I hear some arguments being framed more or less for years, virtually sustaining that position in the SIGNS, and have known how some two or three years ago they were teaching these things in the Healdsburg College, making them very important, yet I said little about it. But when Dr. W. (aggoner) came out in our pioneer paper with nine long articles directly presenting the subject, I felt that this course could not go on. So I wrote to you several times, but got no reply. Then when Dr. W. came on to the Conference, fully armed for the fray, and was sustained so fully by Brother Haskell, B. L. Whiting (or Whitney), Wilcox and others, so that he and Bro. Whiting (or Whitney) got little companies of our brethren together to indoctrinate as much as possible in quiet, and so the Dr. went home feeling that he was sustained and that he had really carried his point.MMM 68.6

Of course I felt very badly. I did not pursue this course myself, though all knew my views, and I did not favor the matter being brought into public discussion, fearing we should have a scene which would be very bad in its effect. But all these things made such a load of sadness on my heart as I never wish to carry again. I felt that some of my leading brethren did not walk uprightly in their course, though I was powerless to prevent it. It almost makes me sick at heart at the present time, to think of it.MMM 69.1

Brethren Haskell and Whitney (?) were my guests and Dr. W. (aggoner) I invited several times to my house for meals, and treated him kindly. But I kept as cheerful and kind as I could, though my heart ached with anguish. But after the meeting, God greatly blessed my soul and I was enabled to rise above all this, and have never felt so blessed and encouraged in all my life as I have in the few months since.MMM 69.2

I love all my brethren, though I never expect to think their course was right. I see now that God permitted it all to test me and try me, and this is always good for us and none need it more than poor, unworthy me. I love Dr. W. and Brother A. T. Jones. I formed a very pleasant acquaintance with them last year. I was especially pleased with the latter, as a man of a good spirit.MMM 69.3

The Doctor inherits some of his father’s qualities which he will need to guard greatly, or they will hurt him. Elder Waggoner’s methods and ways have been taught them too much, I think, to their mutual injury. The Waggoner stamp appears in all their editorials, and hurts them a good deal, for me. That mixture of egotism, criticism and sharpness is not so sweet to me as to some, I suppose, even when mingled with much ability. I do not see much of Christ in it.MMM 69.4

If Christ was the embodiment of the real sentiment of the Law of God as we all believe, I must think Elder Waggoner’s views of the Law somewhat warped, or I fail to see the Christ spirit in them.MMM 69.5

I greatly rejoice of course, after this long time, to see that you do not endorse the course the young men have pursued. They are promising young men and I hope they will be useful. They will be surprised at your letter, for one who has recently come from Healdsburg told me that Brother Jones told him he had not a doubt but what all they had done in these matters would be fully sustained by yourself, or words to that effect.MMM 69.6

I am sorry for them, for I always pity those who suffer keen disappointment. Of course your statement made in this letter that you had told Elder Waggoner “that his position on the Law was incorrect”, referring to the “added law,” is very satisfactory to me. I have no disposition to feel elated over it, and do not. It is the truth and I am glad to see the truth established. That is really the key to the whole position.MMM 70.1

I have refused to publish my views on the Law in Galatians in the REVIEW, though others desired me to do so. I have not felt free to do it though I should have a far better right to do so, on the defensive (?) than the Dr. did, to write originally, and the pamphlet published for the leading brethren I have not felt at liberty to circulate, though many have wanted it.MMM 70.2

In some cases, where persons have written for it expressly, I have consented for them to have a copy. But I fully believe before God that the principles of that pamphlet will stand the test of the most rigid examination. But I let this matter rest, and am perfectly willing to have it all in God’s hands, though the matter has been a sore trial to me. But I cannot see how it ever can rest, as the subject is sure to come into every thorough examination of the Law, and we cannot help it.MMM 70.3

The added Law is either the moral or the ceremonial Law systems. You say in substance that Elder Waggoner’s position was not correct, his position was that the moral Law was the added Law, hence it must be the other. If our people knew that you had light that the Moral Law was not the added Law, the question would be settled in short order. That is precisely what our people are waiting with much anxiety to know. I am not urging you to say anything, but I feel certain that after all the stir over this question it will make constant trouble, till your opinion is known. You see if it don’t.MMM 70.4

I shall not make the trouble, but it will present itself. I care not for the minor points, to how that added Law question is settled. The minor points will settle themselves very quickly.MMM 70.5

The General Conference Committee have been together several days this week, and have now gone home. We send Elder Underwood and Farnsworth to the Pacific Coast to attend the anniversary meetings, and then the Northern Pacific Camp Meetings. We hope this will be a great encouragement to the brethren in Calif. and Oregon. Brother Farnsworth is in excellent condition to labor. Brother U. has considerable of the managing quality. Our campmeetings will miss your coming as there was quite an expectation of your coming this spring. Of course I am much disappointed myself. But I do not want you to come till the Lord does, (?) we shall get along some way. God lives and can help even the weakest instrument.MMM 70.6

I dread going to Kansas but suppose I will have to. I greatly wish you would give me advice, what to do in Smith Sharp case. The Kansas Committee placed him over a city mission. I wrote Cook a sharp letter about it. It seems ridiculous to me that a man who has acted as he has should be placed over a city mission. I think it would be some time before I would send a daughter of mine to him to manage. I can’t see how a decent woman would consent to work with him. Then there is a real split in feeling in the Conference over Cook’s management. Several of the best and most prominent brethren feel dissatisfied about it. Who shall be put in there? I do hope you have some light on the subject. Do you think Sharp should have credentials as a preacher? For one, I do not dare to trust him. He claims to be enjoying great light and knows he is greatly blessed, etc. But he is so politic andMMM 70.7

A. T. Jones to E. G. White, Mar. 13, 1887

E. J. Waggoner to E. G. White, Apr. 1, 1887