Lt 168, 1901

Carlyle, Sister

NP

March, 1901

Portions of this letter are published in 1MR 161. +^{NoteOne or more typed copies of this document contain additional Ellen White handwritten interlineations which may be viewed at the main office of the Ellen G. White Estate.}

Dear Sister Carlyle,—

I have received a letter from your husband. I would say that there is only one thing for which a husband may lawfully separate from his wife or a wife from her husband, and that is adultery.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 1

If your dispositions are not congenial, would it not be for the glory of God for you to change these dispositions?16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 2

A husband and wife should cultivate respect and affection for each other. They should guard the spirit, the words, and the actions, [so] that nothing will be said or done to irritate or annoy. Each is to have a care for the other, doing all in their power to strengthen their mutual affection.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 3

I tell you both to seek the Lord. In love and kindness do your duty one to the other. The husband should cultivate industrious habits, doing his best to support his family. This will lead his wife to have respect for him.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 4

You both need to overcome pride and selfishness. Do not wound one another by harsh words. Speak kindly and gently. I cannot give you better advice than this. No tongue can express, no finite mind conceive, the satisfaction that comes from appreciating the goodness and love of God.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 5

My sister, you cannot please God by maintaining your present attitude. Forgive your husband. He is your husband, and you will be blessed in striving to be a dutiful, affectionate wife. Let the law of kindness be on your lips. You can and must change your attitude.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 6

I am so weary that I cannot write more. At some other time I shall try to write to your husband.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 7

May the Lord give you a humble heart and a willing mind, and may He greatly bless you.16LtMs, Lt 168, 1901, par. 8