- Preface
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- Chapter 7—My First Vision
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- Chapter 9—Answers to Prayer
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- Chapter 12—The Sabbath of the Lord
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- Chapter 16—A View of the Sealing
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- Chapter 30—Traveling the Narrow Way
- Chapter 31—Burden Bearers
- Chapter 32—A Solemn Dream
- Chapter 33—Missionary Work
- Chapter 34—Broader Plans
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- Chapter 36—Circulating the Printed Page
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- Chapter 41—The Death of Elder James White
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- Chapter 43—Restoration of Health
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- Chapter 48—Danger in Adopting Worldly Policy in the Work of God
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- Chapter 50—The First Australian Camp Meeting
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- Work and Education
- Looking for a Suitable Property
- An Industrial Experiment
- A Beautiful Dream
- Help from Friends in Africa
- Putting Up the First Buildings
- Another Test of Faith
- Aims and Objects
- Missionary Labor the Highest Training
- Fields White Unto the Harvest
- A Training Ground for Mission Fields
- After Many Years
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- Chapter 54—In Southern California
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- Chapter 58—Last Sickness
- Chapter 59—The “Elmshaven” Funeral Service
- Chapter 60—The Memorial Service at Richmond
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In Perplexity Over Sanctification
Among the Methodists I had heard much in regard to sanctification, but had no definite idea in regard to it. This blessing seemed away beyond my reach, a state of purity my heart could never know. I had seen persons lose their physical strength under the influence of strong mental excitement, and had heard this pronounced to be the evidence of sanctification. But I could not comprehend what was necessary in order to be fully consecrated to God. My Christian friends said to me: “Believe in Jesus now! Believe that He accepts you now!” This I tried to do, but found it impossible to believe that I had received a blessing which, it seemed to me, should electrify my whole being. I wondered at my own hardness of heart in being unable to experience the exaltation of spirit that others manifested. It seemed to me that I was different from them, and forever shut out from the perfect joy of holiness of heart.LS 28.1
My ideas concerning justification and sanctification were confused. These two states were presented to my mind as separate and distinct from each other; yet I failed to comprehend the difference or understand the meaning of the terms, and all the explanations of the preachers increased my difficulties. I was unable to claim the blessing for myself, and wondered if it was to be found only among the Methodists, and if, in attending the advent meetings, I was not shutting myself away from that which I desired above all else,—the sanctifying Spirit of God.LS 28.2
Still I observed that some of those who claimed to be sanctified, manifested a bitter spirit when the subject of the soon coming of Christ was introduced. This did not seem to me a manifestation of the holiness which they professed. I could not understand why ministers from the pulpit should so oppose the doctrine that Christ's second coming was near. Reformation had followed the preaching of this belief, and many of the most devoted ministers and laymen had received it as the truth. It seemed to me that those who sincerely loved Jesus would be ready to accept the tidings of His coming, and rejoice that it was at hand.LS 29.1
I felt that I could claim only what they called justification. In the word of God I read that without holiness no man should see God. Then there was some higher attainment that I must reach before I could be sure of eternal life. I studied over the subject continually; for I believed that Christ was soon to come, and feared He would find me unprepared to meet Him. Words of condemnation rang in my ears day and night, and my constant cry to God was, “What shall I do to be saved?”LS 29.2