Counsel #27 — Calm Over Chaos

Picture: Counsel #27 — Calm Over ChaosCR 174.1

If you’re constantly arguing with someone over little things, like what to eat or who texted who back first, it’s worth paying attention to. True love isn’t about winning every debate or picking apart each other’s flaws. Sure, disagreements will happen in any relationship, but if small things regularly blow up into big fights, something deeper might be off.CR 174.2

People who genuinely love each other learn how to listen, give grace, and let go of what doesn’t matter. They know that not every difference deserves a battle, and that kindness is more important than being right. Think about it: does your relationship leave you exhausted or more at peace? Do you spend more time making up than actually enjoying each other’s company? No relationship should feel like walking on eggshells or prepping for the next argument. It should feel safe, respectful, and full of grace. When God is at the center, love becomes more about patience and less about superiority. If every little thing turns into a fight, ask yourself if you’re building something healthy, or just surviving until the next round.^{[181] https://adventistreview.org/living-faith/argue-without-being-argumentative/} CR 174.3

“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17:14 NIVCR 174.4

“Speculative ideas should not be agitated…when it is really a matter that is not of vital importance and will be understood differently.” Ellen White in Christ Triumphant , p. 330CR 174.5

Reflect: Can you disagree without it turning into a fight?CR 174.6