Counsel #10 — Selfless

Picture: Counsel #10 — SelflessCR 186.1

Marriage becomes most fulfilling when both partners are focused on each other’s needs and not their own. I know, we’re often told to protect our happiness, guard our time, and “look out for number one,” but the biblical model flips that thinking entirely.CR 186.2

So, what is the difference between an “other-centered” marriage and a “self-centered” one? An other-centered spouse will ask things like, “How can I serve you today? How can I make your burden lighter?” Over time, this posture will create a cycle of dual-servitude because both people will be giving instead of taking. In this kind of marriage, no one feels empty or taken advantage of. An other-centered marriage, at its core, is built on humility, appreciation, and consistent acts of care. In contrast, self-centered marriages often lead to disappointment and resentment. Instead of focusing on the other person, all efforts, energy, and time is spent in self-gratification — the other’s needs are left unmet, and both people feel unseen. Real satisfaction in marriage comes not from getting everything you want, but from choosing every day to give all that you can.^{[192] https://morantbaysda.interamerica.org/bibleinfo_topics/selfishness?_=1748879616502.8113} CR 186.3

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 NIVCR 186.4

“This selfishness must be seen and overcome, for it is a grievous sin in the sight of God.” Ellen White in In Heavenly Places, p. 232CR 186.5

Reflect: In your marriage, do you give more than you receive?CR 186.6