Counsel #7 — Unbalanced Give And Take

Picture: Counsel #7 — Unbalanced Give and TakeCR 102.1

A lack of balance in give and take is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.^{[97]https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202007/are-you-in-relationship-no-give-and-take}CR 102.2

If one partner in the marriage is doing all or most of the giving, it may be helpful to discuss the situation with a Christian counselor or therapist. His or her giving with no reciprocity could stem from prior emotional trauma, fear of abandonment, or fear of conflict. It’s possible that the receiving partner is just lazy, selfish, or entitled, but it’s possible that the “giver” has not been able to express his or her needs adequately and some of the lack of reciprocity is unintentional.CR 102.3

“For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened; but by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may supply their lack, that their abundance also may supply your lack—that there may be equality.” 2 Corinthians 8:13, 14 NKJVCR 102.4

“’In honor preferring one another,’ should be made the law of the family. Those who cherish the spirit of Christ will manifest politeness at home, a spirit of benevolence even in little things. They will be constantly seeking to make all around them happy, forgetting self.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, pp. 423, 424CR 102.5

Reflect: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each marriage partner aimed to give 100%, instead of arguing over whether the other has done their fair share? In what ways could you be more giving?CR 102.6